the life of a rakish chick

More Signs

2011-11-11T21:44:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
today your daddy went to volunteer at rrs in exchange for a comp race entry for this sunday's silver strand half. he really wants to run with you but if it rains, he won't be. i hope it doesn't rain, i think it will mean a lot to him to run with you, especially since he's been training with you.
well i was off today too, yay, so we got to hang out. we went to visit marife and kaelynn and when we got there, you signed "bathroom" and so i took you and you pee'd in the toilet. that was very exciting!
while we were waiting for daddy to come home, we were hanging out in the living room. your favorite book right now is "1 2 3 San Francisco" and me and daddy laugh everytime you hand it to us to read. today you handed it to me and i said, "ok, sit in your chair" and you sat in the bumbo while i read to you. you also like to turn the pages. it's so cute!!!
what i've been liking lately is that when i do stuff in the kitchen, you hang out and play with the napkins and race snacks in two drawers. you like to take them all out, then put them back in. it's a huge mess, but really easy to clean up, plus it keeps you occupied so i can cook or clean in the kitchen.
you have been eating so much lately that i feel like i am cooking so much more. we've decided to upgrade our csa box to large starting next quarter because we keep buying produce from the farmer's market and while i like that, it does take up more time.
it's starting to get cold now. i used to hate cold weather but since i was pregnant, i am always hot. cold weather also reminds me of the holidays, which i love! i've already started baking a bunch of stuff, mostly pumpkin flavored, with excellent results. like the other day i made pumpkin brownies, a huge 9x13 pan and they were so good. one day, i'll bake them for you. or we can do it together.
i love you silly child.
love,
mama

FIRST STEPS!

2011-11-08T22:44:00.001-08:00

Scarlett today you took your first steps!!!
Unfortunately I missed it =( I was in the luvshak working and then I heard you daddy go, "yaaaay baby!" and I ran out and he said you had taken two steps. But I did see you do it a few more times today. Very exciting baby girl!!!! And I'm so glad at least daddy got to see you do it!

scarlett - 14 months

2011-10-30T22:33:00.001-07:00

dear scarlett,
you are going to be 14 months in two days. since i last wrote, you are standing on your own a bit more but i haven't seen you take a step yet. you like to shake your head no. a lot. but you are also signing more, all done, and water (almost).
i love watching you play in our living room. you enjoy taking your toys out of containers and putting them back. you also made up your own song, that me and daddy like to sing now too.
this has been an eventful halloween week. last weekend, i took you to suzie's farm for organic pumpkins. last year when we took you, you cried because we kept putting you on top of pumpkins to get good pictures. on wednesday, daddy took you to the outdoor class and he said you had fun playing on the playground. on thursday i took you to java mama with kaelynn and marife, but that was a bit crazy. i am not sure we will do that again. way too overstimulating. yesterday we took you to seaport village with auntie espie and kai. a few of my favorite moments:
1. watching you sit on a bench eating your plum
2. i held you while we trick or treated to the stores, while you were munching on your plum
3. one of the stores was giving away pennies instead of candy! mommy loves candyless treats!

today i took you to a candyless trick or treat with other crunchy families. i wish daddy came with us but he's been so busy with school. but that's ok. we still had fun. you got pencils, a rubber ducky, play-doh and a bunch of non candy goodies. there was even a vegetarian potluck. i wish more of our playdates were as healthy as this one.
love,
mommy

Scarlett - 1 year

2011-09-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

dear scarlett!
happy birthday to you! happy birthday to yoooouu! happy birthday dear scarlett, happy birthday to you!
baby girl! you are one now!
so much has happened since june. you got way too many teeth in july. you went from 2 to 6 teeth in a matter of 30 days. it was painful. you wanted to be held and/or nursed all the time, 24/hrs a day practically. but auntie josie came to visit, then grandma, then lola, then auntie lyn and your cousins. you had just as many visitors as teeth.
i started a new job on august 1st. i love it because i am working full time at home, while daddy takes care of you. it has been a learning process, having daddy take over while i work. but i am so fortunate that we can all be together to raise you and watch you grow. we may not be rich, but we are so thankful for this time.
you have been eating a lot more food lately, that has been so fun to watch. i LOVE that you love green smoothies! that's my baby!
on your birthday, we put you in your booster chair, cut a plum in half, stuck a beewswax candle in it and sung happy birthday while auntie josie watched on skype. i recorded it on camera, you actually blew your candle out! it was hilarious! then you ate the whole half plum!
your friend kaelynn came over later and we let you guys play while we all ate pie and cookies. it was a great birthday =)
yesterday we had a small birthday party for you. i am really proud of how everything turned out. first, we decided to have it at the new children's museum downtown since every 2nd sunday is free entrance for everyone and we love that museum. there is a small park across the street, so we started there serving breakfast. we had bagels, eggs (one for adults with tomatoes/peppers, and plain eggs for babies), and watermelon. kaelynn's mommy made blueberry muffins and kahlani's mommy brought banana lumpia. we introduced grains for the first time last week and you really liked it. daddy has been making an oatcake for your breakfast, so that's what your "cake" was for your birthday. just your cake was an oatcake that daddy made =) everyone else got cake pops. no cake pops for you yet baby girl, because there is sweetener and we have not given that to you yet! your oatcake has banana in it.
a word about cake pops. they are really cute to look at but extremely labor intensive. luckily, marife helped me make them. but i made the cake from scratch and the frosting too. i am just an overachiever like that. i even made it all natural, with agave, and oat flour. no bad stuff in my baked goods. i said at the party, i would never make them again. but i take that back. i would make them, but next time, no lollipop sticks. call them cake bites/truffles/balls and they are just as good. who needs a stick? plus way easier to transport. i think we may have them at next year's party.
the museum was fun too. it was fun seeing our guests enjoy themselves. and also spending time with our friends who we hadn't seen in awhile.
i would totally do this party again next year. same time/place, and maybe even the same food because it was just so easy. me and your daddy are a great team. i think you had fun too. although you did cry a lot at your party because other people tried to hold you and you still don't like that. you still prefer mommy and daddy when other people are around. but lately i really like holding you because i am realizing that one day you will be too big for me to hold =( and you are still really small. at your 1 year appt, you weren't even 16 lbs yet.
you are more adorable as each day goes by. you stood for the first time on your own on sept. 3rd at tia fran's baby shower. tia cynthia saw too and we were amazed. it was funny because there was a diaper derby and i had you on my back and everyone thought that was crazy and i won the mvp award. how else was i supposed to play?
when we say "uh oh" or "oh no!" you smile and put your hands on the side of your face, it is so cute!
daddy started taking you to a baby outdoor class and i know he is just so smitten by his baby girl. he absolutely loves spending time with you and my heart melts when i see him with you. my heart also melts when you lay your head on my chest, it is the sweetest feeling in the world.
i love you baby girl!!!
love,
mommy

2011-06-26T20:12:00.001-07:00

dear scarlett!
this has been a fun and busy week.
on monday, i left you with my crazy mama friend marife and her crazy baby kaelynn so i could go to a meeting. i came home and she held you for at least 2 minutes while i was home and you didn't even cry! that is progress. she said you did pretty good and only cried a little bit. yay!
on wednesday we went to a free bbq and got free produce! mama loves free! i was telling daddy later that night about one of my dream moments. because before you were born, i had visions of doing certain things with my baby. like running with baby in a jogging stroller. or reading to baby. well on wednesday, i got our free lunch and we both sat down on the grass to eat. i ate my black bean burger, and gave you a huge slice of watermelon which you happily gnawed at. but that was my dream moment. sitting on the grass eating with my child.
on thursday we went to a ladies night event at our favorite running store. daddy offered to watch you and kaelynn while i hung out with my girlfriends. i was excited because i met another mom that lives close to us and her baby is only a month older than you! so now we have more baby friends!
on friday was our first 5k together. we went with baby kaelynn and tyler and their mommies. it was so fun! and you did so great. mommy ran her fastest 5k ever, which is funny since i was pushing you in the jogging stroller. after the race, you ate a slice of orange and a little bit of watermelon. i am so proud of the way you've been learning how to eat. later that night we went to baby kai's house and hung out. you had lots of new toys to play with.
today we went to the taste of adams, a food festival. i scored cheap tickets on craigslist! i am really glad we brought our tiffin because there was so much food. if we ever go again, we will bring the 2nd tiffin. you did great today too. people kept saying how cute you were and you just kept babbling and cooing. you also took a nice long nap. we hope to go to more food festivals!
this week was also the first time you started pulling yourself to standing. today was the first time we saw you do it in the crib. yikes!!! you also like to stand when we nurse, which is funny to watch.
you are going to be 10 months soon. you are still army crawling and you also have a tooth coming in. you don't seem to be that fussy about it, which we are happy about. maybe it is the amber necklace...?
oh we also took you on your first plane ride last month. we went to hawaii to visit grandma and grandpa and finally you met uncle allen and auntie yoza. you did awesome on the plane! both ways! we were so proud!
we took you to ko olina a few times. and you loved the water! i had taken you to the beach once before in san diego, at the beginning of may and you cried when your little toe touch the water because it was a bit cold. but you didn't mind in hawaii. me and daddy took turns with you in the water. one day when we went, we even saw sea turtles. they swam right next to us! you seemed unamused =)
we had such a great time in hawaii and hope to go back again soon.
you are lots of fun every day. i love it when you hug me when i am holding you tight. we are so blessed to have you in our lives, our sweet baby girl.
love,
mommy

2011-04-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

dear scarlett,
i am laughing as i type this.
today was a funny day. this morning we went to usd to be part of the great cloth diaper change to set the world record! woohoo! it was exciting. as we waited, i was setting with my other mommy friends while you and aiden (he is only 3 days older than you but weighs 20 lbs!) were hanging out on the floor. he tried to touch your face and you started crying =( but licking the floor made you happier, silly girl.
we also went to the free easter egg hunt at liberty station in the afternoon. it was hilarious. there were so many people there, waiting around the edge of this huge circle to say when we could go and get the eggs. i told daddy he should go with you since i did an egg hunt with you on wednesday. while we were waiting, we talked about his strategy. he said he was just going to sit down on the ground and horde the eggs around him. and stay close to the edge of the circle so i could take pictures. there was some miscommunication because it looked like they were starting but really, they didn't but everyone started anyway so daddy went ahead in the circle and plopped himself down and gathered all the eggs around him and pushed them in front of you. i was dying. it was so funny! the things we do for you baby. well really, we enjoy it =)
and this whole egg hunting thing, i'd love to take you to a real egg HUNT one day, the ones we've been to are more like gather the eggs in a grassy field. but mommy loves easter egg hunts. i used to do them with your uncle allen and auntie josa when we were younger. we would take turns hiding eggs in our bedroom. whoever found the big green egg got to hide them next.
this week for my happiness class, i have been working on "smelling the roses" and trying to be more present in the moment. so this week, i have been doing just that. lots of hugs and kisses for my baby and rolling around on the ground with you. and stroking your head while you nurse because you are just so adorable and i know you won't be a baby forever. but i will savory every moment, little bug, i will.
love,
mommy

2011-04-13T20:19:00.001-07:00

dear scarlett,
you have been such a ham lately.
a few weeks ago, you figured out how to scream like a girl, it was high pitched and ear splitting! thank goodness you outgrew that =)
you have been rolling all over the place. when i do stuff in the kitchen, i now put you in the dining room on your blanket/sleeping bag so you can roll around and suck on your toys. yesterday, you managed to work yourself under the table, then back around near the blanket. but it's funny, you push yourself backwards because you haven't figured out how to crawl. but you are so close! you like to go on all fours a lot. it's going to happen soon, i can feel it.
you've been getting a lot better at napping on your own now. and napping longer! hooray!
i started working part time a few weeks ago. i am so grateful that i am working from home so i can still spend time with you. the other night, daddy went to his softball game and before you went to bed, i just held you and sang "twinkle twinkle little star" and you hugged me and put your head on my chest. it was so sweet. i love that you can do that now. then it was sad because i put you in your bassinette and your turned to your left which is where daddy normally stands when we say goodnight to you. and you just looked kinda sad that he wasn't there. i told daddy that story when he came home from softball and he was sad that you missed him.
but the biggest new thing you are doing right now is saying your first word!!! DADDA! you love saying it over and over, it is fricken adorable.
i started taking this online class with one of my friends called "raising happiness" and it is about raising happy children. i want you to be a happy person! i admit, i am not always the happiest person, but i am working on it. and so far, i think i am doing pretty good.
little bug, little buuuug! mommy loves you!!!

2011-03-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

dear scarlett,
it's been awhile since i've posted. so much has happened!
today you are 6.5 months old. just last week, you have started rolling over from your back to your stomach, and quite proud of yourself for doing so. you are also sitting up pretty well on your own, although you still fall back. but at least you are no longer leaning all the way forward towards your toes!
this week you have started grabbing your toes while laying on your back. it is fricken adorable. YOU are fricken adorable!
last weekend we took you to the st. patrick's day parade and it started off with some firetrucks, sirens blaring. you did not like that one bit. you cried so hard so i held you tight and walked away from the parade so you could calm down.
daddy did a half marathon at the safari park the next day and we woke up super early, even with daylight savings. you did so great that day, and it was the longest we had ever been out. as long as you were fed, you were happy.
you have been sleeping so great recently too. the past week, i have barely woken up at night to feed you because you have been sleeping!!! we had been doing a partial swaddle with you until last week when daddy looked in the bassinette and said you were on your belly, even though we put you to sleep on you back and he said to me "She's wearing a scarf" as in, the blanket was wrapped around your neck. YIKES! no more partial swaddling after that!!! you have been in a sleep sack since.
i love waking up to you every morning. you are always so full of smiles when you see us. i am thankful every day for the time i get to spend with you. we are so blessed to have you in our lives. i wish i knew how wonderful being a mom would be back in the beginning, when it was hard. i would've loved you so much then. but i guess now it doesn't matter, because we made it through that difficult time and i know it will just get better.
i love you so so much sweet pea.
xoxox,
mommy

2011-01-22T21:48:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
i don't know what it is, but 2 days ago, you decided that you no longer like being held by anyone other than me or daddy. is it because you love us so much?
daddy went back to work on friday and i was going to meet up with some friends so i dropped you off at lola mimi's and you cried so much. i tried to feed you, i changed your diaper, but still you kept crying. i felt bad for leaving you but lola said you would be fine. so i went and enjoyed myself guilt-free! but daddy picked you up after work and when i got home, you were already asleep.
today was a really busy day for us. first we went to visit some friends for breakfast in chula vista, then we met up with my cousins for lunch. then we came home and i was tired and wanted you to sleep so i could sleep so i tried to nurse you to sleep but you stayed awake and i just fell asleep. you eventually fell asleep though!
we then went to uncle rick's bday party and you got to meet him, uncle dexter, and uncle romy and a bunch of their friends. everyone said you were so cute and they wanted to hold you but every time they tried, you would just cry until daddy held you again. oh baby.
we got home pretty late, around 8:30 and i fed you and got you ready for bed. you fell asleep right away. this was the first you have gone to bed on your own without crying. sigh. it just makes me and daddy so happy (and relieved).
love you, sweet pea!
mommy

another miracle!

2011-01-19T20:41:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
this has been such a fun week. you have been turning over lots! all front to back, left to right, right to left, it is so much fun to watch. in the beginning you would be on your belly and start to cry a bit and daddy would yell, "don't get frustrated baby! you can do it!!!" daddy's hilarious.
last night daddy tried to put you to sleep and you weren't having it. you already started crying when he changed your diaper after i fed you. so daddy decided to wrap you up and put you in your bassinette. you cried for 20 minutes and fell asleep on your own. i felt bad because i always said i wouldn't do the cry it out method, but if you were crying bloody murder, of course i would've gone in there to get you. but you seemed ok. you fell asleep at 8pm and didn't wake up until 4am. you did move a lot though around 2am and i was certain you were going to wake up, but you didn't! so that's the new record baby. you slept for 8 straight hours. if you can do this on a nightly basis, i will be forever grateful. we'll get there one of these days, i'm sure.
tonight we tried cio but you didn't like it at all. i felt bad because we did it for 25 minutes but you fell asleep soon after i picked you up. my poor sweet pea, all tuckered out from crying. that and you didn't nap much today.
well today was mommy's last day of work. i didn't think i would cry, but i actually did as i drove out of the parking lot. it is going to take a miracle to top this job. so now we will be hanging out more baby! another sad thing though is that daddy is going back to work early on friday. i am very grateful for the time we have spent together, the 3 of us. i'm glad daddy was able to bond with you and he is such a great daddy, but i knew he would be even before we ever thought about having you.
so yesterday we went for a run at the lake. we started late, around 9am i think and it was already kinda warm so i was only going to run 3 miles but felt good and ran 3.5 instead. you were awake most of the time and only took about a 10 min nap. but you didn't cry at all! now that i won't be working, we'll be running together more often, i'm sure. and one day hopefully, you will like running on your own. just like me and daddy.
sweet pea!!! i love you so much!!!
xoxo,
mommy

2011-01-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
we've been trying to start your bedtime routine around 7pm-ish the past few days, but tonight we didn't start until 7:45pm because daddy took you out. i felt bad because i was supposed to pick you up so daddy could attend a running seminar but this step class i wanted to take started a half hour later than i thought! but daddy said he would just bring you to the seminar so i could take the class. wasn't that so sweet of him? i just love your daddy.
daddy said you did really good at the seminar. he wore you in a carrier the whole time and said you slept but then woke up halfway through but didn't cry. you're such a good baby!
and this morning we went to breakfast with auntie espie, uncle collin, and baby kai. you did good at breakfast too!
and tonight, i had to rock you to sleep but then you woke up as soon as i put you down in your bassinette. it kills me when you do this, i put you down, you wake up and look at me with your big bug eyes and then start smiling. oh baby. so i left the room and you just started talking really loud, then crying a little, but then you fell asleep. on your own again! yay baby!
tomorrow we're going for a run together. it's been awhile since we've done that. i hope you'll like it.
love you baby!

2011-01-15T20:50:00.001-08:00

dear scarlett,
it has been a busy week. on tuesday we brought you to your first baby signing story time. it was really cute because i held you while daddy practiced the signs and i could tell he was a bit nervous because he did his nervous foot tap. i admit, it was a bit weird for me at first too, with the singing of the kids' songs and signing at the same time. but then it was fun. so fun, that we brought you to another one on thursday!
on a sad note, which may possibly be a blessing in disguise, i found out that i am losing my job next week. i really love my job because it's so flexible and i can even work at home and be with you. i'm not sure what i want to do. i can stay home maybe for a few months or look for work. don't know what to do yet little baby.
we went to a birthday party today for baby noah, he turned 1! and i met someone who works at a company that i would love to work for. and it was fun talking to her because she was so interested in what it was like to be a new mommy and she really liked your cloth diaper! i love talking to people about being a new mom. i think sometimes i scare them because i am too honest, but hey, someone's gotta be.
tonight when we got home after the party, i was motivated to bake cookies. daddy helped by taking out all the ingredients while i put you to sleep. anyway they are really good. they taste like brownie cookies. one day, we'll bake them together.
oh well you just woke up crying, so i better go.
love you sweet pea!

2011-01-12T18:00:00.001-08:00

dear scarlett,
i am not sure what happened but this week you have decided that waking up 2-4x a night is fun again and so is sleeping in mommy and daddy's arms. we think maybe it's because daddy has been coughing and while you had a cold a few weeks ago and seemed to get better last week, we think daddy just passed it back to you =( so maybe you like us holding you since you are not feeling your best.
but as i write this, daddy is spinning at the gym and for the first time since last week, you finally went to sleep on your own. and boy am i relieved. i knew you could do it again! yaaay baby. mommy loves you.

A MIRACLE

2011-01-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
i never thought this day would come.
the past 2 nights i have been trying to get you to sleep by yourself in your bassinette. usually, me and daddy have to rock and hold you, sometimes for hours before you fall asleep. and then you will fall asleep, and we put you in the bassinette, and you wake back up again! we love you so much, but this makes mommy and daddy very tired.
also for almost all of december, you were waking up 2-4 times a night. but the past 2 nights, you have only woken up once! what's up baby! mommy loves this!
and the best thing of all today. you finally fell asleep on your own. the past 2 nights i tried, but it took you so long, and then you would cry and i ended up picking you up and rocking you back to sleep anyway. but tonight i didn't have to. and i know i should be sleeping right now but i am just so proud of you for doing this tonight.
i love you sweet pea!!!
mommy

2011-01-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
happy new year and 4 months to my little bug!
we celebrated your first xmas and new year's. your lola was in town and your auntie lyn, uncle henry, and cousins jourdan, kristian, and noelle all came to visit. they loved you to pieces! on xmas eve, we went out to brunch, then uncle henry, who is a pastor, did a really short blessing for you on the beach. maybe it would've been longer, but you were crying so i took you right after the blessing, plopped down on a bench in front of the beach and fed you. it was a beautiful san diego day. i was so grateful for the warm sun and being able to breastfeed my baby while looking at the ocean.
on xmas day we went to visit more cousins in temecula. it was very nice because everyone wanted to hold you so me and daddy got to relax and watch tv and mingle with the cousins.
for new year's eve, we weren't sure about going out because you got your first cold. it was a little scary because you would cough and sometimes look like you're choking on your saliva. the day after xmas was the worst day. usually when i bring you to the mirror, you are all smiley. but this time, you gave a little half smile and started crying. that's when i knew you weren't feeling good. my poor baby =(
but by nye, you were much better. still coughing a little but no more choking looks. we got invited to 2 parties so we decided to check them out, since they were both close by our house. the first party was at auntie char and uncle ilde's house. we just met them this year and they are nice people. they have a baby girl too named izzy. there were lots of other kids there, and we met a couple that had twin boys that are 2 days older than you. i used to think having twins was the cutest thing ever. but after you were born, i pitied anyone that had more than 1 baby at a time. it's so tough with just one!!! the poor father of those twins was telling us horror story after horror story. it made me very grateful to just have you.
the 2nd party was very low key. thankfully you were so tired at the first party that you fell asleep on the way to the 2nd party. so me and daddy got to socialize while you slept in your carseat, then we got home around 1am. we were very glad we went out for new year's eve.
today we went to the baptism party of baby kahlani. we talked with a mom whose baby was born 6 weeks early and was in the NICU for a few weeks after he was born. i looked at your daddy and told him how grateful i was to have a healthy baby.
so much perspective this weekend, little baby. we really are lucky to have you in our lives.
love,
mommy

letter to baby

2010-12-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

dear scarlett,
i wish i could tell you that being a new mommy is the easiest thing in the world. but it isn't. but there are so many moments that melt my heart and make it all worth it.
for the longest time, daddy has been pestering me to buy you a comb because your hair sticks up. i told him that auntie joy would be coming to visit and would be bringing a comb/brush set. so when she did finally come and visit on dec. 4th, daddy was so excited to comb your hair. i will never forget it. i was sitting in the dining room working and i looked over in the living room and i saw daddy looking at you with the sweetest smile on his face and he was combing your crazy hair. it almost brought tears to my eyes.
today you turned over for the first time. well actually you turned over when you were 9 days old but i think today was more intentional. i am sad because i actually missed it because i was on my laptop working =( but daddy said he saw you do it.
today daddy also attempted to wear you on his back and he did a really great job. you were so happy and content hanging out on daddy's back while he put away the dishes.
mommy and daddy love you so much little baby!

2010-12-18T18:37:00.001-08:00

i've been "back to work" since the 1st. we have not been busy and i have been working from home so it has been bad. plus bernie is on paternity leave. we should be getting more busy in jan though.
what have we been up to...
12/4 - took baby to java mama for her first pic with santa. we barely caught santa!!! he was walking out of jm in the parking lot and i was like "santa!!!" so he was nice enough and took a pic with her in the parking lot next to a tree, haha. i'm glad she did not cry =) then we went to dec nights in balboa park with the aragons. bernie wanted to bring the stroller, i was against it but he said he would push it. it wasn't as bad as i thought. i was nervous about feeding her since we were out all day in the park but that wasn't bad either. i had my nursing cover and just sat wherever i could to feed her. then we would use the patemm pad to change her diaper on a nice patch of grass. she did get fussy towards the end of the night and i suppose it was because she was tired, plus she had been in the stroller almost all day and i think just wanted to be held, poor baby.
12/5 - we decided to be brave and take baby to california adventure since our free tickets were expiring. we survived! and did not use the stroller! i had a really great time. it just felt so empowering that we could take her to an amusement park and still have a good time. sure, we did not get on any rides, but we did see the aladdin show, the pixar play parade, and a dance crew show which featured mickey mouse. that was pretty cool. ca adventure also has a nice baby facility where you can nurse and change diapers. but i nursed wherever in the park but we went to the facility to change her diaper because i am still a little ick about public restrooms. we had fastpasses to the world of color but it started raining and we were getting tired so we didn't go. that's ok, maybe next time.

i did my first postpartum race last weekend, a nice 4miler in scripps ranch. my time was a little over 42 min. yes!

baby has been such a joy to have. this week i have found myself becoming more attached to her and just loving her more and more. she smiles and coos, it's so fricken adorable.

2010-12-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

the 5k/costume contest was canceled due to lack of participation =( perhaps i can tweak the costume for next year. i had fun putting it together!!!

been trying to going back to working out at least 6x a week. last week:
sun - 4m run at gym
mon - step
tues - 4m run w/baby at lake
wed - stroller strides
thurs - elliptical/weights
fri - 4m run in neighborhood
sat - step

this week so far:
sun - 4.5m at lake
mon - step
tues - 4m lake w/baby

i go back to work today so no more stroller strides =( hope to continue getting in my workouts and losing the baby weight! as of last week, i have 6.5 lbs to go!

2010-11-21T23:20:00.000-08:00

thank you baby for being fussy this morning while daddy had to work ot, this made my afternoon workout that much sweeter and fueled my desire to run fast and pound out my frustration.
4m in 43 min. i'm on my way back!
oh and just you wait baby, because mommy made you a costume for this thursday's turkey trot, muahaha!!!

2010-11-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

wed - stroller strides kicked my ass but was so proud because baby didn't cry at all! also she gained 11 oz this week!

thurs - went to a babywearing meetup and was inspired to buy a girasol woven wrap, they are so soft and squishy! went to weights class at the gym.

today - this time i timed myself for our 3.5 mile run at the lake. finished in 41:46 and that includes stopping because a lady asked me for directions =\ also we met up with espie and baby kai at utc mall. it's funny before i got pregnant i would see moms at the mall with their strollers and wondered if i would be one of them one day. and i am!

2010-11-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

me and baby went for a nice run this morning at lake miramar. the time change is nice in that it gets sunny earlier so after she ate this morning at 6:15am, i got ready and headed to the lake. i ran 3.5 miles and felt good at the end. i didn't time myself but i think this is one of the best runs i've had postpartum.

2010-11-11T09:10:00.000-08:00

oh wrapping and wearing baby is too much fun.

2010-11-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

it has been a really nice day.
yesterday i was contemplating going to stroller strides, then going to the bf support group right after. it is just a lot to plan for. i really wanted to go to stroller strides for the workout and to see a few of my friends, then also to the bf support group because they were going to demonstrate how to nurse in different carriers.
so last night i started getting things ready... i put the diaper bag by the door and made sure i had extra baby clothes, cloth diapers and wipes, water (2 bottles because i drank all of my water at the last workout and was extremely thirsty), wallet, keys, sunglasses.
then i put my carriers in another bag for the bf support group. this morning, bernie put the bob stroller in the car trunk and i packed a small lunch of an apple and almond butter sandwich. i fed the baby and ate breakfast, played with her a bit, then we drove down to balboa park and i fed her again in the car. so last time we went to stroller strides, she cried for about half the class. this time she didn't cry at all! yay! she was awake for half the class and was just looking around, then i guess decided it wasn't all that exciting and fell asleep. too cute.
i really liked the class today because i felt like i was able to enjoy my workout because i wasn't worried about the baby. i hung out for awhile after and chatted with some of the ladies and also ate my lunch, then we headed over to the bf group. there were a lot of moms today. oh the best part of my day is that i weighed her and she has gained almost 10 oz since last week. that is fricken insane. after 1 month, she had only gained 11 oz, then at the 2nd month appt, she had only gained 9, and she is now gaining 10 oz in a WEEK? i'm so glad she is gaining more weight now!!! it is so weird how she started gaining more weight after we stopped giving her the bottle of extra breastmilk and am only breastfeeding exclusively. but who cares, i will take that massive weight gain!
after the bf group, i went to an impromptu lunch with one of the girls to this restaurant called the station. it's neat because there is an outdoor seating area with a little play area for kiddies so you can totally hang out and drink beer while your kids play. we'll be returning back to that place for sure!
when i got home, i decided to try nursing in my cotton gauze wrap. i had to use the mirror and it was a bit sloppy but i was able to do it and was so proud of myself! oh and the baby too =) taking her out and switching to the other side wasn't great, but i know i just need to practice more.
so i am really glad i got out there today and did all the things i did. it was a lot to plan and get ready for but so worth it! i have to remind myself that it is not so bad once i get going out the door and that i am always glad i did it.
i am loving all the smiles that little baby is giving us every day. also bernie started trying to potty her more these past couple of days and i know he is just as excited as i am whenever she goes in her little potty!!!

2010-11-07T23:52:00.000-08:00

baby - 2 months

ah finally after a few crazy nights, baby has had a good one today so far!
- attempted dinner last night at niban with some friends. got there early, fed her in the car, changed her diaper in the trunk, put her in a carrier and walked around and ala peanut butter sandwiches, we had a sleeping peaceful baby!
- 2 workouts this weekend! step yesterday and 3 mile run this morning! i am averaging almost 12 min miles, but it's a start back to where i used to be
- we saw toy story 3 and i am obsessed with rex the dinosaur. he is so fricken naive and funny! i loved this movie!

2010-11-02T11:33:00.001-07:00

i read "diaper free baby" while i was pregnant and knew elimination communication was something i wanted to try. i did attempt to hold her over the potty when she was a few weeks old but she wasn't having it.
lately she has been pooping during or after a feeding so last sunday we fed her then held her over the potty and it was awesome, she pooped! we've been able to catch a few more since then and it's funny to admit how excited i get every time she does it. so proud of our little pooper trooper.
baby had her 2 month check up yesterday and i was pissed because her dr said she wasn't gaining enough weight and wanted to do an experiment and feed her only formula for a whole week to see if she gains more weight. so that would mean no boob for a whole week! my mommy instincts told me that was just wrong so i found her a new dr and saw her this morning. i love her new dr! she looked at me and i told her that my husband is small too and she is not worried about baby's weight at all. i was so relieved. finally someone who doesn't just look at the scale!

2010-10-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

these pictures crack me up.
today we went to suzie's farm, where they have organic pumpkins on the vine. i was so determined to get a picture of little baby in her monkey costume with a bunch of pumpkins. these were the best we could do. she was not happy. but me and bernie thought it was fun! i know, we are horrible parents.
as we were walking through the patch to find a pumpkin, there were a bunch of open smashed pumpkins and i was like, "how come they are like that?" and bernie said, "you didn't see those kids walk in with bats???" seriously, who does that? and those kids were with their parents. why would you let your kid demolish organic pumpkins? and why are the farmers ok with that? they see the kids walking in with bats. i don't get it.
before we went to the farm, i had gone to my friend charisa's house for brunch. i brought the baby with me. i had a good time. she had 2 other gf's there, and one of them just had her baby 2.5 weeks ago. man i thought i had problems. this poor girl's baby will not breastfeed so she has to pump every 2 hours to feed her baby. i asked her if she had a pumping bra and she had no idea what it was, so i am going to give her one that i bought. i have the simple wishes one and also the pumpease one and i like the pumpease one more because it is way easier to pump and nurse at the same time. i was going to give it away anyway so i'm glad i found someone who really needs it. she was like, 'do you want money for it?' and i was like no way, i've gotten so many baby things from people and just want to do the same for someone else.
scarlett is still doing well on her sleeping/eating schedule, yay! it makes life so much easier. she has her 2 month appt on monday and i am really really hoping she has gained some weight otherwise i know we are going to have to feed her more than what we are doing now. i was all stressing out about it a few days ago and kept on thinking, what can we do? but have decided not to try anything new until after her appointment. because maybe what we are doing is working. i really hope so. i am so incredibly tired of worrying about her weight. i know it could be worse, but it has been an issue since she was born and i feel that worrying about it has made me not enjoy the new mommy experience as much. granted, it is getting better. she has given us honest to goodness smiles this week which melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes. she is such an adorable little bug!!!
i went out for the first time on thursday night after the gym. our instructor invited me and a few other ladies from class to callahan's for her bday. so i went. i was in dire need of a beer. it was nice talking to everyone about being a new mom and how it wasn't all butterflies and rainbows for me in the beginning. it isn't always now but at least i'm not an emotional disaster like i was those first few weeks. i so wish i never feel that way again.
i was all looking forward to coming home and showering when i got home. i was walking up the stairs and walked in and there was classical music playing really loud and i look in the kitchen and bernie is cutting up vegetables and the baby is sitting in her bouncy chair looking up at him and i was like "what the hell is going on" it was almost 9 pm! and bernie was like, "what? i just fed her." and i was like, um she was supposed to eat between 7 and 7:30pm. so i was a little annoyed and put her to bed while he was finishing up in the kitchen but he apologized and said he messed up. i'm glad i can totally laugh about it now. sigh, we are learning =)

2010-10-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

it's been a nice weekend. i went to step class yesterday while bernie ran with the baby. later in the afternoon, we walked to babies r us (bernie wore her!) and we bought a bouncy chair. poor baby sometimes has really bad nasal congestion and i've tried saline solution, fresh and easy baby balm (like vicks, but with no petroleum) and she sleeps at a slight incline so that she is not flat on her back. i had read that some had put their babies in bouncy chairs and set them in the bathroom while showering so that the steam would help clear the congestion. that hasn't seemed to work for her either =( i'm sure it's normal but i just feel bad for her because i know it affects her feeding.
today bernie worked ot so we drove there with him then me and the baby ran home. more like ran/walked/stopped because she cried. i am really loving that stroller.
the past couple of days we have been trying to feed her consistently and so far, so good. i try to do 5 feedings during the day (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks!), then 3 feedings at night. it's been working since wednesday, except she did eat 4 times friday night. sometimes i am just so tired to wake up but then i remember that she needs to gain weight and that is motivation enough for me to get out of bed.
bernie said to me this morning that he is proud that i have come a long way with breastfeeding. now i actually enjoy doing it. and i'm starting to understand what bernie's coworker said about "that bond". i wish i could say that for the first 7 weeks but i am really glad i didn't give up and i got the help i needed.

2010-10-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

baby has gained 3 oz. since last week! yay! i really wanted to know how much i was transferring to her at the bf support group on wednesday. we had a discussion on how to relieve gas/colic in babies and while we were talking, scarlett let a wet loud one rip. nice work baby girl. so i changed her diaper and then when i weighed her after feeding, was all freaked out because she actually lost 2/10's of an ounce. but then i remembered that i changed her diaper and all the poo was part of her prefeeding weight. doh! oh well, we'll find out next week.
on thursday i went to a babywearing meeting and it was at a park and it was time for her to eat and this lady sat on my picnic blanket after i invited people to sit down and she started breastfeeding her baby so i didn't feel so self conscious about feeding scarlett. she still takes forever to eat, at least 30 minutes. but it is still less than before.
i went to lunch with my friend espie after the meeting and i was kinda nervous that she might get fussy. but she was fine. i kept her in my MOM half buckle tai the whole time then fed her when i got home.
i visited 3 daycare providers this week. i like them all for different reasons and am interviewing a few more next week. i hope we find someone by mid-november. that is my goal. one of them lives about a mile away from us and espie was telling me that i should try running with the bob stroller but i've been lazy and a little nervous to try. so last night bernie showed me how to open and close the stroller and i practiced a few times. bernie put the stroller down in the car so all i had to do was put baby in her carseat, then put the whole thing on the stroller.
so this morning, i got everything ready and was ready to start running. i was surprised at how smooth the stroller was and how easy it was to manuever. 30 seconds into my run i said to baby, "mommy likes this!!!" it was fun! and i like that i am exercising with her. i think she liked it too because she fell asleep =)
oh and i went to bodyworks yesterday at the gym and decided that i was going to do the abs part. i was nervous about that too, thinking it was going to hurt like hell, but it didn't. i'm so proud of all the things i did this week. they make me feel more confident about being a mom and taking care of myself. also since i've been pumping more, i am actually able to make enough to supplement her diet without using my friend's milk anymore. i only have about an ounce or so to freeze every day but it is better than nothing.

2010-10-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

my ppd appt yesterday went well. the midwife says i am "all healed" and can assume normal activity. i told her about my abdomen feeling weird after running and she said i needed to strengthen my abs since they are all stretched out.
i think baby is going through a growth spurt because she has been kinda fussy during the day which is somewhat frustrating. i am always so relieved when bernie comes home from work and i hand her over. yesterday i realized that i feel more bluesy and overwhelmed in the evening after bernie gets home and today i figured out it's because there are all these things i want to get done and i want them done by a certain time so that me and him can actually have some time together. it was nice to finally figure that out and tell bernie about it. hopefully the rest of the week i will be better.
i also scheduled appts with potential day care providers this week. i spoke to my boss and told him that i'm thinking of going back to work in december, even though i told them january. right now, i don't see myself as a stay at home mom. at least with my current job, i can work from home sometimes and even though i may still keep her in daycare those days, at least i can do house stuff during my work breaks. i don't think i can work from home and watch her at the same time.
tomorrow i'm going to weigh her at the bf support group and i really hope she has gained weight and that i am transferring enough milk to her. i made this mental list of things i want to do with her once her weight issue is no longer a problem.
1) get her to sleep longer through the night
2) teach her to self soothe so we don't have to keep rocking/holding her to sleep
3) try elimination communication!

2010-10-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

we were supposed to go to an infant massage class this weekend but it was like an hour's drive and i just couldn't fathom being in the car with her that long and figuring out when to breastfeed her and it got too stressful thinking about it so i canceled. so instead this weekend, we went to road runner sports and i bought a new sports bra because my boobs totally bounce now when i run which is painful. i tried out the bra last night, i tried to run 2 miles and it felt great but my abdomen felt weird after so now i am wondering if i need one of those funky support belts. i have my postpartum appt tomorrow so i'll ask the midwife about it.
today we went to the la jolla farmers market. we tried a bunch of cookies, one called red velvet and the other was a blue velvet and bernie liked them but i thought they were really doughy, like underbaked, but bernie says they are supposed to taste that way. i also had a cookie sandwich which was chocolate pumpkin spice cookies with frosting in the middle and that was really yummy. we bought some fruit and veggies since i canceled our be wise box this week. i'm trying to use up the food in our freezer.
then we tried to go to crepe restaurant called bibby's and it was fine for awhile then the baby started crying towards the end of our meal. i wish she was able to soothe herself and fall asleep but she can't yet. we always have to hold her and rock her, is this normal? i know people say, get the swing! but i don't want to get one. i would be open to trying a bouncy chair though.
god i totally love weekends. it's so nice that bernie is home and can hold the baby so i can take a break =)

2010-10-15T01:52:00.000-07:00

we went to a bf support group on wednesday and i had suspected before the weigh-in that baby had lost weight. she just felt lighter. last week with a long sleeved onesie she was 7lbs, and wednesday with a lighter short sleeved onesie, she was only 6lb 13 oz =( so i think she lost about 1 or 2 oz. since she lost weight and hadn't been gaining much in the first place, the lc suggested i go ahead and start supplementing either with additional breastmilk or formula, at least 4 oz a day extra. i try to pump at least twice a day in place of a feeding and each time have only been able to get at least 1.5 oz, sometimes nothing at all =(
i was so bummed, i called my mom and cried about how inadequate i felt as a mom that i couldn't produce what my daughter needs and how i wanted to breastfeed her so bad and how it still hurts and that i still want to like it so much. it was good talking to her, i felt so much better after. i then contacted my friend espie because she had mentioned the last time i saw her that she had way too much milk and that i could have some if i needed it. her baby is a month older than mine. so today after baby's appt, i picked some up from her. i am so forever thankful!!! we gave baby half of my milk and half of her's and she didn't seem to notice, drank it all up, yay! bernie felt weird about using someone else's breastmilk but i told him it is better than formula and plus, don't you think it is weird that humans drink cow's breastmilk? so he is ok with it now.
anyway i am feeling much better now and hope that i'll start producing enough milk myself so that she will gain weight. at least at the bf support group, i am now transferring a bit more milk to her (more than an ounce, but still less than 1.5 oz) and hope that will continue to increase as she gets used to her tongue.

2010-10-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

i am envious of those breastfeeding moms that can just whip their boob out on the whim and nurse their babies. because i am not one of those moms. we had a lot of problems with breastfeeding in the beginning because she was compressing my nipple and it was extremely painful. i saw a few lc's and they had suggested the nipple shield until my nipples healed and that maybe she was tongue tied or maybe she had a small mouth. so i decided to wait and see if things would get better when her mouth got bigger. i tried a few weeks ago without the shield and still compression. so i went to another lc and she referred me to a ears/nose/throat dr specialist and we went to see him yesterday and he suggested clipping her frenulum, which i think is that webbing under your tongue. i knew this was a possibility and i had discussed this with bernie before the appt and he didn't want it done but i told him that if this was a chance for us to get better at breastfeeding, then i wanted to do it. i hated not liking it. i hated that i had to use a stupid shield every time i breastfeed because it was so painful.
i knew she would be in pain though and that killed me. even though i knew the dr would suggest the procedure, i still cried when he left the room to get everything ready. another dr that was there though was really sweet and she just sat with me while i cried and told her that i just wanted it to work because i really wanted to have a good nursing experience and for her to gain more weight since that was something her pediatrician has been worried about and how i didn't want to have to supplement with formula.
the procedure only took a minute but i still cried. i think i cried more than she did! but she was fine after, they had me nurse her to see if things improved and they have. she is not compressing as much and i have been able to nurse without the shield. i am still using it though for some feedings because my nipples are sore but for the most part, i try not to use it. i am seeing the lc again tomorrow and she is going to show me some exercises to do with the baby and we will see what our next steps are. but we're getting there.
today i felt good because we went to the park and i was able to breastfeed her shield free! plus i got these nursing tanks from target and i really like them. now i don't have to bare my backside and tummy while nursing in public! then we went to lunch with my coworkers and baby was so good. after i had nursed her in the park, i changed her diaper in the trunk of the car, then when we got to the restaurant, i put her in my cotton wrap and she fell asleep by the time my coworkers got there. she slept the whole time and i was able to eat, yay!
oh baby's up from her nap, time for her dinner =)

5.5 weeks

2010-10-10T00:29:00.000-07:00

i've been meaning to update but whenever i have "free" time, i want to sleep and it seems that the only time i'm online is when i'm nursing. so i decided during the baby's last feeding that i should just start blogging even though that does mean typing with one hand (i don't know how to nurse hands free... yet) and no more capitalization. breastfeeding has been hard for us, more on that later, which makes me not look forward to it sometimes, but i think blogging will help me.

well the 1st few weeks of her life were hard. i was so fricken tired and breastfeeding hurt so bad and i wanted to give up. i don't feel bad for admitting this because my other mom friends said they felt the same way but the combination of sleep deprivation and sore boobs made it hard for me to fall in love with the baby. but now i look at her and love her to pieces. crazy hair and all! i remember how excited i was when her umbilical cord stump fell off, i think it was sept. 12, i was changing her diaper and realized it was gone and was confused. where the hell did it go because i didn't see it. it was stuck to the inside of her onesie but i thought, yay now we don't have to be that careful during diaper changes!

outside of learning to be parents, we've been out and about. she did super at the chinese wedding banquet, everyone ooh'ed and ahh'ed over her ("omg she is only 4 days old! how tiny!") ang that was the first time i nursed in the car.

on sept. 10, bernie's work had a function at the padre's game so we went but only for an hour or so. we had gone to get my hair cut and visited our friends kent and lisa so i was pretty tired.

for a few weeks we were pretty good at taking walks in the morning and afternoon, usually around the block, to the grocery store, target, or babies r us. but now if we go somewhere that involves driving, i don't want to overdo it. also last weekend i was feeling so antsy and wanted to work out so bad so i ran to babies r us while bernie watched the baby. it's only 1/2 a mile, maybe less but damn it felt good to run again. i am starting off slowly. i also went to step class last week and yesterday, woohoo!

i've been enjoying all the mommy support groups too. we've gone to a few bf ones and also babywearing. babywearing is so much fun. we just bought a stroller on friday (the bob! now i can run with her) so before that on our walks and outings, i just put her in a carrier and she falls asleep. i also wear her in the house so i can get things done. yesterday i made my first purchase on thebabywearer. yes i heard it is addicting! i bought a used m.o.m. half buckle tie, can't wait to try it.

last weekend we went to a bday party for our friends, 3 yr old and all these little kids crowded around the baby and started stroking her hair. we told them her name and the 9 yr old explained to the others that "lett" meant half of little which meant that the baby is a really little scar. we thought that was hilarious.

yesterday was a long day. 1st we went to the zoo for my cousin's son's bday party. i was so tired plus it was a little hot. but we did get to see a few animals and it was nice to see family. it was our first time using the bob and bernie loved it. i think it's nice but it is so big and bulky so i don't know how much i'm going to use it outside of running. carriers seem so much easier.

then next was dan's bday bbq which was cool because i met 2 other new moms and it was nice talking to them about everything. one of them teaches step and she invited me to her class because i told her i'm a step fanatic. we were on our way to party #3 and bernie was sitting in back with scarlett while i drove and he's like, "what's in her mouth?" and i was thinking what the hell could be in her mouth, she only drinks breastmilk. and then i remembered i had eaten chocolate bday cake while i was wearing her and looking down and seeing crumbs in her hair. so i said "it might be cake crumbs." haha it was! oops.

And Finally, a Baby

2010-09-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

This past week has been crazy and wonderful... I don't want to forget it so I am going to write as much as I can now, while I still have the energy (and baby is napping, although I need to get in a nap too!)

So in my last post I talked about the irregular contractions. I had my 39 week appt on Monday and they checked me and said I was dilated about 2 cm and 90% effaced, but the baby was positioned in front of my cervix instead of on top of it. Contractions picked up that night and we went into the birth center around 1am Tuesday. Brita, the midwife said I was 4cm and that I had the option to stay there for 3 hours to see if I got to active labor (6cm+) or go home. We decided to hang out there. The surges (contractions) were sometimes pretty intense and Bernie had to push on my lower back because that's where I felt them. Around 5am, Brita said I hadn't changed so we went home =(

When we got home, the surges slowed and we were both able to take a little bit of a nap which was good. I was trying my best to conserve energy. I remember feeling so thirsty throughout the whole thing and drinking a ton of water. When we both woke up, the surges were getting regular again and more intense. I was trying my best to get through them, remembering that they there were usually about a minute. I thought about doing a plank and holding it for a minute and breathing through it. Bernie would time using contractionmaster.com and every time I felt one coming I would yell "Surge!" and he would press the mouse and then run over to me to apply pressure on my lower back.

We went back to the birth center around 1pm. This time I was 6cm, yay, so we were admitted. We had the birthing suite and tried different positions to get the baby's head to move on top of the cervix. Around 5pmish, I was 8cm and got in the birthing tub but it slowed my surges so I got out. My bag of waters had not released even though they said it had been bulging since Monday. So Brita suggested releasing the waters at 5:30pm in hopes that it would dilate me more. I think she said it seemed like I had like a liter of water, but it did feel like a lot once she did it.

Of course after that, surges became even more intense. I got in the water but I didn't feel like it made a difference. The surges were painful and I was vocal about it. I was checked again around 7pm and they said I was still only 8cm and since I had been at 8cm for 4 hours, it was their protocol that they had to transfer me to the hospital.

I was scared. I didn't want to transfer because I knew we were going to have to be aggressive about things we wanted, and I sure as hell did not want a c-section. But the midwives were hopeful and said that they thought I should be able to have a vaginal birth. They said I probably just needed a little bit of pitocin to get my surges stronger which would dilate me more.

The ride to the hospital sucked. Walking into the hospital and checking in sucked. Bernie had dropped me off while he went to look for parking and they asked if I wanted a wheelchair but seriously, sitting down was the last thing I wanted to do. But I got to the labor/delivery room and the nurses were really sweet. I told them what I wanted and we met with the doctor, who was a bit of an ass. I thought I was just going to get pitocin and then see if an epidural was necessary but he said, no, clearly you are in a lot of pain and the pitocin is going to make it worse, so you need to get an epidural, since you have been in labor for so long and how what he was recommending was "non negotiable" and how I could leave and go back to the birth center. And I thought, well they wouldn't even let me back at the birth center if I wanted to. So I agreed to it. I was so scared to get the epidural because they said I had to not move through 2 surges and I was like are you kidding me? But the nurse practiced with me and the anesthesiologist was really good and did it so fast! Yay!

After that, everything felt so much better. I couldn't believe how much better I felt. I loved that the feeling of wanting to poo more than anything in the world went away. What a relief. I could no longer feel the surges, but I could still move my legs.

I also got pitocin and we just waited for me to dilate 10 cm. I was able to rest but couldn't really sleep. Bernie totally did, I could hear him snoring but I was all anxious thinking about how this was going to end but glad I wasn't in pain anymore.

I think by 3:30am (Wednesday), I was 10cm and the dr said we were just going to have the baby move down with my surges until the baby was far down enough for me to push.

Ok so the pushing part. Or "pushing". I was like, how the hell am I supposed to push when I can't feel anything down there? I knew it was going to end in some sort of assistance, either a vacuum or forceps, and by that time, I was totally ok with it. I really just wanted the baby out. 3 hours of "pushing" just felt so unproductive. But it was cool to see the top of the baby's hairy head in the mirror. But it was also frustrating because I felt that the pushing wasn't moving her out, even though the nurse said I was moving her down and that I was doing a great job.

The dr came in before 6am I think and said he was going to use a vacuum. Since I had mentally prepared myself for that, I was like ok. I told him that we wanted Bernie to announce the sex of the baby and the dr (who was now in a good mood it seemed like) jokingly said, "Ok but I've had dads not know what the baby was when they didn't see testicles so if you don't see testicles, it's a girl."

So I think I only pushed through 2 surges and the baby was out. The dr caught the baby face down and said to Bernie "Ready?", then turned the baby over. No testicles! Bernie said, "It's a girl!" and then they put her on me and of course I cried.

I remember smelling her and thinking she smells funny but I can't believe she is all slippery and tiny and I made her inside of me and she is ours.

Scarlett Jolie was born at 6:14am on Sept. 1st, 2010, 18.5 inches long, and weighed 5lbs 15 oz (tiny!). They rubbed her down with a towel while she was on my chest because she had stuff in her lungs. I don't remember how long I held her before they took her to weigh and stuff and get more stuff out of lungs, but I was ok with everything. As long as they didn't take her out of the room and Bernie was always with her, then I was good.

We hung out in the room for about 2 hours then we went to the postpartum floor. I have to say that I overall, I am really happy with our "Sharp experience" (that is Sharp Hospital's saying). The nurses were all really nice, and I enjoyed everything except for the dr's bedside manner before delivery. We had a semi private room but the people next to us left shortly after we got there. And then we didn't get new neighbors until we left, so basically we had it to ourselves, which was also very nice. The food also wasn't that bad.

On Thursday morning, we went to a free "New Parent" class at the hospital, since we were still waiting to get discharged. I think we could've stayed another night but just wanted to get home, plus I was totally imagining the medical bill. I really liked the class. The teacher was funny and so informative and she said she also ran a breastfeeding support group on Friday's and I was like ok I am totally going, because I didn't feel like it was going that well for us.

We finally got home Thursday afternoon. Thursday night/early Friday morning were so frustrating because she was getting up like every 30 min to an hour to eat and I was just in so much pain that I was not looking forward to breastfeeding at all but knew she had to eat. I felt so bad and so incredibly exhausted from not sleeping.

So Friday we had her first ped appt and dr is happy with everything although she does have a little bit of jaundice so we are popping her in the sun every day at home until her next appt on Tuesday.

After her appt, we went back to Sharp and I spoke with a few lactation consultants about my breastfeeding issues and they offered a few recommendations so I have been working on them and I am so incredibly happy to say that things have improved tremendously. I no longer am scared to feed her because it doesn't hurt anymore and I am so thankful that my milk came in yesterday and she is getting fed and in turn helping me lose my baby weight =) So now I look forward to my breastfeeding sessions as my workouts, haha.

We also went to Babies R Us after seeing the LC's at Sharp to buy a few baby things so it was baby's first shopping experience and I got to use my sling! That was fun. We've been wearing her around the house, either in the sling or in the wrap and she loves it. I do too because I can totally eat while she is all comfy and warm against me.

So I felt like last night was a good night because we are starting to get some routine down. We feed her every 2-3 hours, at least for now, even if that means waking her up because I heard that milk will work for the jaundice and plus I don't want her to lose too much weight. So I feed her, then Bernie will try to soothe her and get her to go back to sleep. So while he is doing that, I am sleeping, then he will wake me up when it's time for her to eat again. I also try to sleep when she sleeps during the day.

I know it is also still really early and this learning curve is normal for all new moms but I think I am just so hard on myself and expect to just get things right away and am so frustrated when that doesn't happen. I feel so much better today though... I realized that she is only going to be needing me for a short time and we've waited for her for so long. I am so grateful that she is healthy and of course incredibly cute!

I also realized yesterday... while I was pregnant, I had a dream that I gave birth to a baby girl. And the picture that I posted of her is exactly what she looked like in my dream. Isn't that crazy? Baby Scarlett, the baby of my dreams!

We are supposed to be going to a Chinese wedding banquet tonight... we don't plan on staying too long, and I am hoping that Scarlett will be ok. Looking forward to blogging about that...!

Something is happening

2010-08-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

Early Friday morning I felt like I was leaking fluid and that continued all day. I was all waiting for that "gush" but then I remembered our Hynobirthing instructor says it isn't like that for everyone. Then starting this morning, I started seeing a little bit of blood mixed with what I think may be the mucus plug? Then I started feeling lower back pressure.

Bernie went to golf again this morning and I was planning on going to the gym but decided against it and started cleaning up the house and finally started my photo project, which is, take all the photos out of albums, throw away ones I don't want, and then I'm going to bring them to a scanning company to put them all on a DVD. I am so over paper photos. It was funny going through them and remembering when the pictures were taken. My high school friends would laugh =)

I took a long nap after Bernie came home and that's when I started feeling that urgency to push sensation along with the lower back pressure. That is what I was waiting for. I remembered that feeling from the first miscarriage I had and I knew something was up. Even though I was still a little tired, I wanted to get out for a bit. So we walked to the library, then we went to Edelweiss bakery and I bought a slice of chocolate cake (craving!) and then went to Yogurtland (more cravings) and then I went to get a reflexology massage while Bernie read his book in the strip mall. I've gotten prenatal massages throughout my pregnancy and everywhere I went I asked for a foot massage but they said they wouldn't do it because there are pressure points that could trigger labor so I thought that if I got one today, then that would help things along? I don't know why I have never gotten this reflexology treatment because it was pretty damn awesome. These Asian spas don't mess around, and I can't believe it was only $29 for an hour! I'm so going back.

I felt good after on our walk home. I decided to rest a little and now I've kinda been having more surges (contractions), but they are not consistent. We started using contractionmaster.com and I got Bernie to start his photo project, we finished packing our bags, we changed our bedsheets, we finished a load of laundry, and we've eaten dinner. I've hung out on our exercise ball for a bit, and I think so far I have managed to go through almost a whole roll of toilet paper. I am trying to drink lots of water to stay hydrated.

I am remembering to breathe through the surges and not to clench my jaw, because I tend to do that when I'm tense. I had Bernie write down all the important numbers to call after the birth, including the placenta encapsulation lady, the baby's pediatrician, and Salvation Army (so they can pick up the more bulkier furniture that is in the baby's room).

I started feeling a bit nervous during dinner because I realized that once we leave our house, it is not going to be just me and him for a long time, and that kinda made me sad. But we have been waiting for this baby and I know it is all going to be worth it and me and Bernie will have our time again. I just hope I don't turn into crazy postpartum depression mama. Well that's what the placenta pills are for right?

I guess I should rest now in case we are going to be up all night. I hope my next post is a birth announcement!!!

38 Weeks

2010-08-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

And still no baby. I was really hoping baby would come this past Sunday since Bernie had a golf tournament on Saturday.

So we never got the car seat inspected, that was really annoying. We went to CHP and they said they were all full and I was all pissed off and told the inspector that I called TWICE and spoke to two different people that said they were going to be doing inspections until 2pm, but the inspector said that spaces get filled. Grr! I was all mad on the way home and went off bitching to Bernie about how the government sucks and makes us feel inadequate as parents and scares us into thinking that we have to do all these things to make our babies safe. Like getting the flu shot. Whatever, stupid government. The same stupid government that says it's ok to eat fake sugar and cow's milk is really good for you. Right.

Well I think we have everything ready for the baby. We ended up buying an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper and Bernie put it together and every morning when I wake up, I can't believe a baby is going to be in it. Because like the pregnancy books say, I do feel like I am going to be pregnant forever. On Saturday I went to our friend's baby shower and she is due 10 days after me and I met another girl there that is due on the 17th but she is having a c-section. Then I met this other lady who gave birth last year and she asked where I was delivering and when I told her Best Start and told her about the water birth she said she never even knew something like that existed and wished she had known earlier. It is sad that more people don't know about it.

Saturday night we also went to watch "The Princess and the Frog" at a free outdoor movie event. I love going to those things in the summertime. And I thought the movie was good. Maybe we'll watch another one this weekend.

Last Thursday my co-workers threw a baby shower for us. It was really funny, there was lots of alcohol and tequila shots and one of them gave us this little duck Beanie Baby and somehow everyone started calling it "Bernie's small cock" and Bernie replying with "But my cock works!" And they were all excited that they bought the "filipino purple cake" because they had heard I liked it and I was thinking that I have never mentioned to anyone about liking ube but I thought that was nice of them to find it at a filipino bakery. We were joking around and said that it was just vanilla cake dyed purple because when they saw my blonde coworker walked in, they probably said to each other "This white chick has no idea what ube is". Either way, all the food was really good, even our dyed purple cake =) And it was really fun hanging out with my coworkers and watching my boss get drunk and having him say how much he was going to miss me and what the hell was he going to do without me? Yeah, he was totally hurting on Friday.

So last Sunday I woke up and had some contractions and I was thinking, "Oh this could be the day!" and just like the birth story we wrote for the baby, I told Bernie we had to go to the beach, so we went and the water was freezing ass cold but I walked in it anyway because it felt good and took away the pressure I was feeling in my abdomen. Cynthia met us there too and she walked with me a bit more because Bernie was worried that I was walking too far by myself. We left around 5pm and went to buy groceries and Fresh and Easy then ate dinner and then went for a 3 mile walk that included a huge hill and that made the contractions a bit stronger, but still no baby.

On Monday I woke up with no contractions and I did Internet research and found out about practice labor called prodromal, which I think I was having. Then I came to terms with the fact that no matter how much spicy food and work outs I get in, this baby is just going to come when he/she is ready. And I'm ok with that now.

I had my 38 week check up yesterday with a midwife I hadn't met. She was the last one I had to meet. I didn't really like her and I am all hoping she doesn't attend my birth. She was kinda rough when trying to find the baby's position and I couldn't believe she asked me this, "Where do they usually find your baby's heartbeat?" WTF. Isn't that her job to palpitate to find where the baby is? Holy crap. She just wasn't as smiley and happy as all the other midwives. I hope she was just having a bad day.

I also received my cotton woven wrap and practiced with a baby doll that Cynthia let us borrow! See baby, we are all ready for you!

Energy wise, I have been feeling good. I am still working out, but also taking lots of naps. I still absolutely love my Monday night step class, that is by far my favorite work out. Last week I got lots of comments from other ladies at the gym, like "I can't believe you're still working out!", "Is it safe for you to be doing that?" etc. I've modified my workouts a lot, I take lots of water breaks and don't use as heavy of weights as I used to. I can't imagine not working out, because seriously, isn't labor hard work? That's what I feel I am "training" for. I'm totally gonna keep working out until this baby is born =)

2010-08-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night we went to Seau's for my friend's birthday and on the way home I started feeling this cramping feeling and then I couldn't sleep because my belly felt extremely tight. I was so tired on Thursday so I went home early from work and took an almost 2 hour nap. I don't get how I was still able to go to weights class last night and still go swimming after, I didn't feel the tightness at all until we got home from the gym.

I am still feeling the tightness on and off today so am working again from home. I don't know why I started getting scared the other night when I should be excited because I know the baby will be here soon. I think I will be more excited after Monday when the baby is full term.

We are getting the car seat inspected tomorrow by CHP. I placed another order for diaper covers and should have it on Wednesday. My coworkers are throwing a baby shower for us next Thursday. One of my friends gave me a Huggies wipes container and I found out how to fold my cloth wipes so they "pop". Then I got another wipes container from another friend so that'll be our backup when the wipes in the other container are in the wash. I hope to do laundry every other day.

Also I was going to change our CSA to every other week instead of weekly. But then I've been showing Bernie how to do our menu planning and I think we are going to be ok. He is going to have to get intimate with our kitchen. I know he wouldn't mind cooking but he takes so much longer than I do because he is such a perfectionist when it comes to measurements and chopping stuff whereas I am just like whatever. I like being in the kitchen with him though like when we make our lunches together or he'll be doing the dishes and I'll be cooking something. I sometimes think about one of us wearing the baby and still being able to be in the kitchen together. I think it'll be fun.

Oh speaking of babywearing, I'm super excited because I found this WAHM who sells cotton gauze wraps and I really wanted Burnt Sienna but she said she was out but then she emailed me and said she found her very last one and was going to size it down for me and send it. Yay!!!

Also I bought a diaper bag off of babyhalf.com the other day. It's this one in the black and white graffitti, I figured would be gender neutral enough for both me and Bernie to use.

I got 2 videos to watch from the library this weekend: The Real Deal on Breastfeeding and then also The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Just found out that my prenatal yoga class is cancelled for tonight, kinda bummed about that. But my instructor is due 4 days before me so I am guessing she is having some type of childbirth something since she was early with her first baby. So maybe me and Bernie will just walk around the neighborhood tonight.

2010-08-10T11:07:00.001-07:00

Two things happened yesterday...

First I got a call from my midwife saying that my bloodwork from my last appointment came back "great" but the only thing is that I am "slightly" anemic. So she starts to list a bunch of iron rich foods that I should start eating or eat more of, which are all very doable, beans, eggs, fish, pumpkin seeds, spinach, etc. Of course she mentioned red meat, but ugh. I don't eat red meat very often. Although I have to admit that I did have Swedish meatballs at Ikea last week. They were good, but I kinda felt gross after. But this is all very interesting because I have been craving eggs, beans, and chicken lately. Oh and then she also suggested Floradix and I remembered that I had samples of this from the Mamafest event I went to in May.

So I did some research yesterday to see how much I should be supplementing because iron isn't water soluble so you don't just pee out excess; you can actually have toxic levels in your body. I called the birth center back because I wanted to know what my levels were because that was going to make a difference in how much I supplement. They said that they consider anything over 11 normal and I was at a 10.2 so that isn't much.

I found out that 27mg of iron is the RDA for pregnant women and I logged onto fitday yesterday and entered all the food I ate and I ate roughly half of that. Then the multivitamin (not a prenatal) that I take MWF has 2mg of iron. And then one dosage of Floradix has 10mg of iron. So I've decided to take take one dosage of Floradix on Tues, Thurs, Sat, and Sun. Because I think I will fit in the rest of the iron through my diet. I took this nutrition course a few years ago and still have one of the textbooks "The Power of Nutrient Dense Food" and it was all saying how you should get most of your iron from food sources and then supplement only what you are missing. I'm wondering if and when the birth center will test me again. My next appt is on Monday so I'll ask then.

And the 2nd thing is that I received my order of prefolds/wipes and diaper covers yesterday in the mail. I'm washing them now, yay!

36 Weeks

2010-08-09T10:46:00.001-07:00

One more week till full term! Yay!

1) When we went to Ikea last week, we found these 27x27in flat cloths in the baby section and I thought that maybe they could be flatfolds, so we bought 2 packs. Well last Saturday I went online and did some research and they ARE flatfolds! So I spent a whole hour on Youtube finding different diaper folds. Then when Bernie got home from golfing, I was all excited to show him. Yes I am the biggest dork ever. I really hope I still love cloth diapers when the we actually start using them. I hear the laundry part might suck. Speaking of laundry, I never did make it out to Vista to buy more Rockin Green because I had bought samples and used them this weekend but I really can't tell the difference between the Classic Rock and Hard Rock so I am not sure what to buy. We hang dry a lot of our clothes so I'm going to take a look at them again tonight and see if I can tell a difference. Then I'll order more from the company.

2) Bernie put together the MALM dresser and installed the car seat bases last weekend. Then next weekend we are going to get them inspected by CHP.

3) I should be getting a shipment of cloth diapers/wipes in the mail today!!! I can't wait!

4) My boss started talking about pancakes last Friday which of course made me crave them so he took me and another coworker out to the Original Pancake House by our work. I tried the 49'er flapjacks and they were so yummy. I like how they are thinner than pancakes but thicker than crepes. So delicious. Then I wanted to try another pancake restaurant so on Sunday me and Bernie went to Richard Walker's downtown and I don't know why I ordered the pecan waffle but I did, and it was good but should've just ordered the 49'er flapjacks. Who knows when we'll get to go out for breakfast again when the baby arrives? After breakfast we went to the Photography Museum for the San Diego International Children's Film Festival since I had read about it in the SDReader. We stayed for an hour and watched a bunch of short animated films, which Bernie said was good for his ADD. I thought it was cool that it was free and I found out they host free screenings throughout the year so I asked Bernie to be their friend on Facebook since I don't have an account =) Then we can take the baby out to free movies! Yay!

5) I am starting to get more tired. My 20-30 minute afternoon naps have spanned to an hour and even then I want to sleep more. I went to step class on Saturday and was so incredibly exhausted but at least today we are doing the same routine. I think it just always seems harder the first time around.

6) Last night we walked to Marshall's and I was looking at baby stuff and we bought one of those medical kits that has the thermometer and nail clippers, etc. And then I also bought a Munchkin Reversible Jelly Bean Sling. I also want a cotton gauze wrap. I hear the Moby is good but it is a stretchy wrap and the fabric feels really hot so that's why I'm going with cotton gauze. I found this one lady who makes the cotton gauze wraps and emailed her but haven't heard back. I hope she gets back to me because she has really great prices.

I Know My Baby!

2010-08-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

I forgot to add...
so last Sunday night, Bernie was reading the baby his bedtime story and it was weird because I hardly felt the baby move and usually the baby is all over the place during bedtime storytime (that's what Bernie calls it).

Bernie was like, "Maybe the baby is just tired" and then we tried to go to sleep but then I can usually feel the baby after I get up to pee in the middle of the night and he did move a little, but not much.

Then when I woke up I was all waiting for movement because he is definitely active and tumbling around in there. But hardly anything. So I called the midwife and she told me to drink juice and lay on my left side and make sure that the baby moved 10 times in an hour, which I think is weird because my baby usually moves 10 times in like 2 or 3 minutes. We didn't have juice so I just drank our green smoothie and laid down and he did move 10 times in like maybe 7 minutes which is kind of unusual for him but at least it was movement. The midwife said to call back if I didn't feel movement so I didn't call her but she ended up calling me anyway later that morning to check on me, which I thought was really sweet.

Also Bernie had offered to listen to the baby's heartbeat and he was able to hear it so that made me feel better too. The next day at my appt I asked the midwife to use the fetoscope instead of the Doppler and we were both able to hear the heartbeat and it was normal for him, about 140 BPM.

And the baby's crazy movements have returned to normal, thank goodness =)

35 weeks

2010-08-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

I hope I don't get in trouble for posting that picture!

1. We went to SF two weekends ago for the SF races. We flew into SFO and didn't rent a car and actually stayed downtown. Usually we stay with my mother in law but I figured if we were going to be waking up hella early Sunday, there was no way in hell I was going to wake up and find parking and be in the city for at least 8 hours... all while 34 weeks pregnant. No thanks. Plus technically it was my birthday weekend =) So we flew in and Bernie went with his brother and sister in law to hang out at his brother's friend's bar in Daly City. And I went to hang out with my college friends. Rosanna and Yoko picked me up at the airport and we went to Straits in Burlingame and it was so funny because I was telling Bernie before we came up that I really wanted to buy balloons so he could find me at the finish line on Sunday. Well when we walked into Straits I saw a bunch of balloons in the corner of the restaurant and my first thought was "I want those!" and then they moved and I saw my friends Cherie, Hector, and Veronica! They had totally surprised me with a baby shower! Joanne and her husband Sonny came a few minutes later. That was so incredibly sweet of them. I had such a great time hanging out with them and I talked to Cherie a lot about being pregnant since she has two kids. The food was great too even though it was so dark that I accidently ate a jalapeno that I thought was okra. Boo!

2. On Saturday of race weekend, we went to pick up our bib numbers. We took a taxi from the hotel to the Design Center and I was pleasantly surprised on how organized everything was and really excited for Bernie because he was excited about all the free stuff he was getting. I was really smart this time because I hate how they have all those little advertisements inside your goody bag so we emptied out our bags before we even left into the paper recycling bin. They also had a free photo booth for us to take pictures! That was cool.

3. My sister came in Saturday with her husband Leon and she gave me the baby's present. I totally love it, she made this quilt for the baby, entirely by hand. I was so impressed and it is totally beautiful and cute. She also put together this ABC quilt book which I thought was genius because it can't tear since it's made out of cloth and the baby can drool all over it and I can just throw it in the wash and it's good to go!

4. Later Saturday afternoon, we got a ride to Fremont because Bernie's college friends threw us a baby shower. It was just his friends, Bernie's brother and his family, his sister and her family, my mother in law, and then of course my sister and brother in law. The food was great, they made some healthy food since they know I'm all into it, but of course they had chocolate cupcakes too, yum my favorite right now. I totally loved the favors too, Gina made chocolate dipped pretzel sticks and I took a bunch and ended up eating them all at the airport the next day. It was so fun hanging out at the Marquez's house and everyone saying how cute I looked. We got a bunch of Babies R Us gift certificates, perfect for air travel!

5. Sunday was the race. And a super long day. Bernie woke up early since his race started at 6:30am. If I wasn't pregnant I would've gone to see him at the start but my race started at 7:45am and even though we were a 20 minute walk to the start line, I didn't want to go early and wait around or walk back to the hotel and then go back again. So I slept in a little. Josa came with me to the race and even though she didn't register, she walked with me. Oh I had the balloons from Friday's surprise baby shower so she tied those onto my backpack. I don't think I've ever walked a 5k before so that was pretty interesting. I remember getting to the 1 mile marker and seeing 18 minutes on my watch and I was like, "What!" Usually I'm more than halfway through a 5k by that time. But it was fun. When we got closer to the finish line, Josa went along the sidelines, outside of the actual race course and I was all excited and felt like running so I think I ran the last 50 feet or so. And got my picture to prove it! Actually maybe no I think it was more than 50 feet. I just know I wanted to finish in under an hour. And I think my watch said 58:57, even though my official finish time was 59:11. I don't get how the gun time and my tag time are the same. What's the point in having a damn tag if they are not going to use it? So after my race I was trying to get my Progressive Marathon medal but they ran out and supposively they are going to mail it to me. Then me and Josa took the BART to the Mission stop and waited for Bernie at mile 21. I held a sign that said "Little Baby loves Marathon Daddy." We didn't have to wait for too long, he came by and took the water I was holding and took pictures with us and kept running. I think Bernie did really good. He ran most of the marathon even though his left calf started hurting at mile 8. 8! I would be crying. After we saw him, I took the BART back to the finish line to wait for him, then Josa went back to the hotel. I barely made it in time to see him finish because I had gone to pee at the Hyatt (conveniently near the finish line) and to Walgreens to buy some stuff. But at least I made it!

After the race, we took the BART back to the Mission stop to meet up with some friends for dim sum. We went to this placed called Big Lantern because they don't use MSG in their food and they also have vegetarian dim sum. I thought the food was good and the service was fricken excellent. The waiter was so nice and patient and he spoke English! It was pretty cheap too, we only ended up paying $13 per person, but then again, there were like 16 of us.

Then we went back to the hotel and we waited for our friends Tilda and Norv and their baby Quincy to come by and drop off their baby car seat, which they were giving to us. How sweet are they!

I didn't get much of a nap on Sunday and I was pretty exhausted from waking up early and all the going back and forth I did that day. For dinner, we went to Pluto's with Vanessa, Hydro, Justin, Betsy, and their newborn baby Piper. She is fricken adorable and it's so cool that Justin and Betsy are doing a lot of things that me and Bernie want to do, like they had a natural childbirth and they are cloth diapering. And babywearing! Yay!

On Monday we went to eat lunch before we left to the airport. We went to this place near our hotel called Honey Honey Crepes and Cafe and it was alright. I thought it was going to be better, but oh well. We were going to take the BART to the airport but we had so much baby stuff that we just took a shuttle instead. Even though the shuttle driver drove kinda crazy, I'm so glad we didn't take the BART. We just had way too much stuff.

Oh I also worked a little Monday morning from the hotel and when we got back home from the airport. I'm so thankful I can do that.

4. On Wednesday, July 28th, I had planned to meet up with my cohort credential girlfriends for dinner. We try to see each other at least once or twice a year when they are on school break since they are all still teachers. It was hilarious because the night before, I came out of the shower and Bernie goes, "Hey you got a text" and I checked and I said "It's from you and it says 'So what's the plan for tomorrow?'." And he laughed and said "Oops!" because he said he meant to send it to his coworker who he said he was going to play pool with when I met up with my gf's.

So I go to Pizza Nova Wednesday after work in San Marcos and wait for everyone. And then in walks Patricia with balloons and a present, then Fran with huge sunflowers and cupcakes, then they said we should move to a bigger table and I am confused. Then I see Cynthia walk in, then walk back out and I'm wondering what she is doing, then she walks back in and I turn around and Cynthia says "Surprise!" and Bernie is standing there. Holy crap, I was totally surprised. I wasn't expecting him or a surprise baby shower (again!).

We played a few games at our table, including put the handkerchief on the baby doll like a cloth diaper which Bernie won. He is going to be a great daddy.

I felt bad because I was a little mad because I thought Bernie was either going out with his coworker or going to stay home and work on this list of things I wanted him to do. Also I was kinda tired and I knew that when we left, we still had to go pick up his car, then go home and scramble to finish whatever was on the list, which I can't even remember now. But I'm sure doing the dishes and making our lunches for the next day were two of them.

Also we had this conversation at the restaurant because Cynthia had bought something for us off our registry and I was like, "How'd you know where we were registered?" because I had only told Bernie's college friends who threw the baby shower for us. And then we got into this whole conversation about how she had asked Bernie about them doing this surprise shower for us because she knew I didn't really want a shower and would I be ok with it? And honestly I was ok with it because it was just those girls and I didn't want a huge baby shower. So then I guess Bernie said he didn't think he would mind and asked if he was invited to this baby shower. And I was like "What the hell, you invited yourself?" And he was like, "No I didn't." And I was like "Uh yeah you did." And I didn't want to ask Cynthia about it because I know she doesn't like to be stuck in the middle of things like that.

So anyway we were kinda pissed at each other that night. I mean yes that was nice that my gf's get along with Bernie but I don't get to see them that often and when we get together it is nice to be able to talk about whatever and not worry about husbands.

So on Thursday, Bernie emails me and says that he didn't invite himself and that he can prove it to me when he gets home because he was going to show me his and Cynthia's Facebook conversation. Later that night we were reading it together and sure enough, he did invite himself. And Cynthia loves Bernie, she isn't going to tell him no, he's not invited because it's girls only. Well he said sorry and that's all I wanted to hear. That and he will never invite himself to a girls only function again. Sheesh. Husbands.

5. Last weekend we cleaned the carseat we got from Tilda and then walked to Target and Babies R Us to look at swaddling/receiving blankets. We ended up buying this 4-pack made by Aden and Anais since they are much bigger than the standard flannel 30x30in or 30x40in packs we saw at BRU. Also I like how the Aden and Anais blankets are made from muslin and not flannel because it is going to be hot when that baby comes.

6. I also ended buying most of my registry items last weekend (haha) because I freaked out and thought if this baby comes early, he or she has no diapers to wear! Plus I still have to wash them all! Then I started doing research on the best laundry detergent for cloth diapers and ordered samples of Rockin Green but now I'm just like, holy crap. I need to wash the diapers as soon as I get them. And not just once, but a few times. So tomorrow I am going to Babies in Bloom in Vista to buy an actual bag of Rockin Green. And maybe more diaper stuff.

7. We went to Ikea on Wednesday to buy the baby a dresser. I was so incredibly exhausted when we got home. But we bought a 6 drawer dresser, the MALM, and we are just going to put a changing pad on top of it instead of buying a changing table. Then we also got a drying rack for the baby's diapers and also one of those drying things with the clippies so you can hang little things. I was all nervous after we bought the dresser because I had read about MDF and formaldehyde and I could totally smell a chemical smell in the baby's room where the dresser boxes were. I emailed Ikea and they said that they have guidelines on their levels of formaldehyde or whatever, so that made me feel better. Plus it doesn't smell anymore in the room.

8. Since Bernie isn't training for a marathon anymore, he has been coming with me to my Thursday weights class at the gym. It's kinda cute. He also bought free weights at Play It Again Sports and has been secretly working out in the baby's room. It is fricken hilarious.

9. Oh my favorite news of all... I had my last appointment on Tuesday and I had to do the Group B Strep. I love how they make you do it yourself at home and just bring everything to the birth center vs them sticking the Q-tip up your ass. Well I called for results today and I am negative! This was the last thing I was worried about because if I did test positive, then I would have to be on an IV, which I didn't want. I'm so glad Jo, our Hynobirthing instructor, told us about taking probiotic supplements. I've been popping those babies for the past month just in case.

Ok so now I just need to wait 10 more days and the baby is full term and baby please stay head down and we are all good for our water birth!

33 Weeks

2010-07-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

1) Today we had another appt. Baby's doing fantastic, heartbeat was in the 150's, and is still head-down. Little baby, you are so awesome! Midwife was a little concerned that I didn't gain any weight since my last appt but when I got home and looked at my weight chart (we weigh ourselves at home every Wednesday, have been for several years now as a way to keep our weight "in check"), I actually weighed more than what I would usually weigh at my last appt on July 6th which was right after the 4th of July holiday weekend where we ate a ton. So really, I think I am right on schedule, gaining half a lb to a lb every week. I would've been more concerned if my uterus didn't grow since my last appt, but it sure did, a whole 2.5 cm. So we're ok!

2) I interviewed one pediatrician so far and while I thought she was ok, Bernie suggested I interview the other one I was considering, even though I wasn't going to after meeting the first. So I'll get that taken care of within the next few weeks.

3) We were invited to hear another hynobirthing story last weekend with Jo, our hynobirthing instructor. She has a huge class now. Our class was only 4 couples, the one she has now has 6. The story was good, although I liked the lactation consultant that came after more. She was so funny and gave us such useful tips, like squishing your boob into the baby's mouth and making sure the baby's head isn't turned to the side when trying to get on your boob. And also not pushing the baby's head down to his chest as you bring him into the boob. She said breastfeeding should never ever hurt. I hope she is right.

4) I love how so many people are just offering us used baby stuff.

5) Stretch marks? Ugh, yes I am getting them. And also the PUPPPs rash has returned =( Although not as itchy as the first time.

6) Little baby kicks all the time. I like how when I get up in the morning and put my hand on my belly and say "Good morning baby!", the baby kicks in response. So adorable!

7) I have been so busy at work as I am doing the jobs of 2 people but my boss just told me that by the end of next week, I will return to just doing MY job. I am so relieved.

8) It was so incredibly hot a few days last week. On Thursdays I usually take a weights class but since it was so hot and miserable, I took an aqua class instead, which was kinda fun. It felt a little weird though doing any kind of jumping or running in place in the water so I just held my belly as I did the movements.

9) We went to a Summer Pops concert last Friday (ABBAmania, an ABBA tribute band) with my friend Concordia and her mommy play group and all their adorable toddlers. Me and Bernie were the only childless couple, but it was so fun to watch the kiddies. I kept thinking, oh this is going to be us next year, dancing on our picnic blanket with our little baby. Everyone was so nice and they were all interested to hear how my pregnancy was going and where I was giving birth. It is interesting telling people that I'm doing natural childbirth in a tub of water and they think I'm crazy for doing it... I think I am more scared of someone poking a needle into my spine and laying flat on my back and pushing a baby out. Although I'm sure by that point you can't feel anything from the waist down.

10) I've been so engrossed in baby stuff that I almost forgot that my birthday is tomorrow. The past few years I have made a big hurrah about it, birthday weekend turned into birthday week, then last year, birthday month. A whole month is excessive and exhausting, I learned last year. This year will be a lot more tame and will not involve an insane amount of alcohol and throwing up in a club. Oh how I've grown =)

7.5 Months! Really!

2010-06-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

It is almost too good to be true!

1) Yesterday me and Bernie went to the "Meet the Maternity Team" event at UCSD. I had gone to the "Meet the Midwives" event in April. I was really glad Bernie came this time. We did a tour of their Labor and Delivery Unit and also the in-hospital Birth Center, which were both nice. I liked that the tours were small, there were only 4 couples. When I did the Sharp tour, our group was huge, like 20 people and it felt cramped and crowded.
I really liked the presentation. I didn't know that because UCSD is a teaching hospital, that they have resident doctors. Unlike Sharp, a private hospital where doctors get paged in? I could be wrong. But I could really sense that the maternity team of doctors, nurses, midwives, and specialists, really did work as a team. And that made me feel comfortable. What I also like about UCSD Medical Center is that they are a "baby-friendly" hospital, which means they have gone through some accreditation by UNICEF and WHO to earn that title. This means that they highly encourage skin to skin contact immediately after birth and breastfeeding, yay!
There was a Q&A and even in the way they answered the questions, you could tell that they really care about the well being of the mom and baby and try to take a holistic approach as much as possible. I really liked that. I felt that Sharp wasn't as holistic. Especially since they don't allow midwives to practice in their hospital, which I think is a little fishy.
If I have to transfer during labor, I will probably choose to go to UCSD.

2) I am a little sad that my prenatal yoga class that is usually on Tuesday evenings will be moving to Friday evenings. Friday is usually my "off" day since I usually do some type of workout the other days of the week. Plus Friday is just weird since I like to come home from work and just veg with Bernie. Plus on Fridays at work, especially in the afternoon can get crazy. I don't know, I'll see how it works out. Tonight's class was cancelled though because our instructor is on vacation and the gym wasn't able to find a sub, so I am going to a different class tomorrow afternoon. I love prenatal yoga.

3) The baby has been kicking like mad! I mean seriously, the other night, he started kicking so hard that I was actually able to grab whatever body part was poking out of me. I only held onto it for a second, but after I let go, he kicked the same spot again really hard. It was hilarious.
Also whenever I lay down on my side in bed, the baby will kick where my belly touches the bed, hard and continuously. So I think he doesn't like that, and I end up having to tilt slightly. Silly little baby.

4) Yay for the 3 day weekend coming up. I am not sure what we are doing yet for the 4th. Something outdoorsy and picnic-y. I know for sure I want to make chocolate cupcakes! Mmmmm. I've been craving chocolate every day. I have a surprise though planned for Bernie on Monday since we are both off =)

5) We ate sushi at Niban tonight, yum! Then I said I would never shop at Walmart again but I was full and wanted to walk and Walmart is close by so we walked there and I ended up buying this super cute pink dress for $10. And it is not maternity!

6) I found out that I passed the glucose screening test, hurray! The birth center requires a number of 120 or less and I got a 79. I am so ecstatic about passing. My next prenatal appt is on Tuesday.

29 weeks!

2010-06-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

Feeling great again today! Well most of today. I did have an hour or two of feeling nauseous at work this morning.

1) I think I am almost done with figuring out which cloth diapers to buy, at least for when the baby is a newborn. I am super super excited about cloth diapering.

2) I tried baking vegan chocolate cupcakes from the Joy of Vegan Baking and they were so incredibly yummy. I thought about bringing some to work to share, especially since my boss has been so understanding about my pregnancy ailments. But no, I kept them at home and I think have already eaten half the batch.

3) We went to the SD County Fair on Saturday with my cousin and her family. I cannot believe we were there from 3 in the afternoon to 10 at night. It was fun watching the kids get on rides and also to just hang out with my cousin since we don't see them that often. This year was the first time ever that I didn't eat any fair food. I really wanted to eat well for the baby. So I went to Trader Joe's and bought this Middle Eastern Feast in the refrigerated section that had falafel, hummus, tabbouleh salad, and pita. And all the ingredients were safe, no crap! Then I also bought some sunflower whole wheat bread, organic basil and tomatoes, and fresh mozzarella cheese (unfortunately not organic, but no growth hormones), and made caprese sandwiches. Then I also made salad with grilled spicy shrimp. So we brought all this food with us, including cupcakes and 2 liters of bottled water because they won't let you in with unsealed bottles of water, which kinda sucks because now that I'm so used to drinking reverse osmosis water, bottled water doesn't taste so great. But still better than faucet water.
They have this cool thing at the fair where you can leave your coolers for free and then you can come back throughout your stay to get stuff. I love that! The cooler backpack we had was kinda heavy so it's so nice that we were able to leave it somewhere secure and air conditioned. We will definitely be taking advantage of this in all of our future visits.

4) I went to step class on Saturday and was incredibly exhausted. I was thinking at the end of class that maybe I shouldn't go anymore. But today I biked to the gym, took the step class, and still managed to swim a little after class. And I felt fantastic. I don't know if it helped that we did the same combos from Saturday's class, but I still felt great.

5) Speaking of swimming, Bernie is going to start taking swim lessons this Wednesday and I am so excited for him. He says he wants to do a mini triathlon one day. That would be kinda cool if we could both do the Hemet Triathlon this year, but then who would watch little baby? So on Sunday, we went to the gym to try swimming and I felt like I did ok but still didn't feel great about it. But today I think I did a bit better. I am excited about doing an open swim triathlon one day.

6) On Friday night after Bernie read the baby a book, we felt the baby kicking and since I kinda know where his head and chest are based on where he is kicking, I told Bernie he should try and put his ear to my belly to listen to the heartbeat. I told him if he heard something, to tap out how fast it was on my leg. So he put his ear to my belly and he started tapping fast on my leg and I was like "Omg that's the baby!" I was so happy because now Bernie can listen to the baby's heartbeat every day without any special instruments or technology. Yay!

7) For Father's Day, we walked to the park and Bernie read a book on his beach chair while I took a nap and drooled on our picnic blanket. You know any nap that involves drool is a damn good one.

8) After the park, we went home and Bernie wanted me to watch "To Sir with Love" because they sang that song on Glee a few weeks ago. So I rented it from the library. First of all the movie is incredibly old, like from the 60's or something and almost everyone in the movie has an English accent so it was a little hard for me to understand. Then the movie was totally bugging me because it was that classic teacher gets a class full of rowdy ass kids and struggles to connect with them, etc. Ugh. It brought back way too many memories of my teaching days and it just made me feel yuck. But then it got better and then you are thankful that there are good teachers out there that really care for the kids. Still, I doubt I will ever go back.

9) I read a really disturbing article in the July Self magazine. I think it was called "Who controls childbirth" or something like that. It made me so angry that I almost wrote to the magazine but I think I am over it now. The author was talking about how she had a traumatic birth and how she is now pregnant with her 2nd and from what I understood, she doesn't think that having a better 2nd birth is going to heal her from the first birth. And she also doesn't believe that her body was meant to give birth vaginally. I just thought it was so incredibly sad that she felt that way and they did this poll of Self readers online and more than half the women that responded said their ideal birth would be in a hospital with an OB. WTF. Are you women insane!!! Before I was even thinking about getting pregnant, I used to think the same way but then when I started reading blogs from other women who choose to live and eat healthfully and are more "holistic", I realized that there are other options. I wish more women did too.
Another thing that bugged me about the article was that she was criticizing this whole movement of "taking back your birth". In a country where the c-section rate is almost 30%, isn't it obvious that women are not controlling their births? True, some women elect to have this procedure done, but then again, some women are pressured into having one because the dr's think labor is taking way too long and they would rather get it over with so they can go home at a reasonable hour. Yes I think c-sections are necessary in some cases but I bet most of the ones done in the US are totally unnecessary. But hospitals and dr's love it because that means more money in their pockets. $30k c-section vs $10k vaginal birth in a hospital vs $6k birth center vs. 4k home birth. Insurance companies don't help at all... most of them don't cover home births even though it would be so much cheaper for them. No, they are all in cahoots with the money hungry dr's and hospitals. Phooey!

10) Ok now to end on a good note =) Today is the first day of summer and I am excited about the summery things we want to do: Summer Pops concert, beach days, and hopefully go blackberry picking. Please oh please oh please. I love blackberries!!!

7 month prego pop drop

2010-06-15T15:00:00.001-07:00

I've been feeling really good these past 2 days.
I don't know if it's because yesterday I had my 28 week appt. So that is when they usually do the glucose screening test for gestational diabetes and if you don't pass, then you have to do the 3 hour test. The screening is usually done where you drink this nasty ass orange drink filled with who knows what then they draw your blood after an hour.
I really didn't want to do that, it just sounds so incredibly gross plus I have been more conscious about the things I have been eating because ultimately, do I really want my baby eating that too? So luckily the birth center offers alternatives. I decided to do the breakfast, which they have listed as eggs, milk, orange juice, butter, but they didn't list specific amounts. I figured as long as you are ingesting 50 grams of carbs, then what difference does it make. So I made up my own damn breakfast of 1/2 cup of strawberries, 1/2 cup of oats, and 2 oz. of cashews that I made into cashew milk for my oatmeal. I went onto fitday.com and got the nutrition profile and it was 50.1 g of carbs so it was perfect.

I did a "test" breakfast on Sunday morning and it felt really heavy. I don't normally eat that much oatmeal for breakfast. After I ate it on Monday, I went for a 15 min walk since I heard that also helps metabolize the sugar. And since I was doing the breakfast, they want to draw your blood after 2 hours, not 1 hour like with the glucola. So my appt was at 8:30, I saw the midwife, and this was a new one who I hadn't met and she was super nice. I mean, they are all super nice. She said my uterus was growing perfectly (28 cm!) and that the baby's heartbeat was great. The baby was upside down diagonally, with his head on the left side of my pelvis and his feet to the upper right of my belly button, which explains why I feel the most kicking there. Stay upside down baby!!!

The best part of the appt was that I was back at work by 9:30am. I have never been in and out of Best Start that fast! Usually they take for-ev-er. I was so happy. Oh the one sucky part was that they had problems drawing my blood because my veins kept rolling away. Ugh, I hate that.

Bernie is still reading books to the baby... not every night, but we try to make it up for it by reading two books in one night if we miss a night. We read a really funny one last night called "Wings, the Tale of Two Chickens". It was about a dumb chicken that gets kidnapped by a fox. It was hilarious!!!

Other random stuff:

1) We went to eat pho last week and in the middle of eating mine, I felt incredibly bad. I never do this, but I kept thinking about whether or not the cow that was in my soup had lived on a commercial farm and whether or not it was stressed out when it died. So I am done with pho. At least, the beef ones in restaurants. I've made my own vegan pho before and that was actually pretty good.

2) Ok so officially, according to baby books, I am now in my 3rd trimester, yay!

3) I made a birth storybook for the baby and we went to Kinko's this past weekend to laminate and bind it. I am totally in love with it and hope everything in it comes true (baby coming on the weekend, we go to the beach, I have time to bake the birthday cake, the water birth). I know it may sound unrealistic, but hey, it could happen =)

4) Bernie's college friends want to throw us a baby shower when we go up to SF next month for the marathon. I started a Babies R Us registry last week but deleted almost everything yesterday. I've been thinking so much about this... well first of all, I am really grateful that they want to do something for us. But I really don't want to bring a lot of stuff back with us on the plane since one, I'll be 34 weeks pregnant, and two, Bernie will just have run a marathon, oh and three, it's just extra stuff that may require another bag which may incur more baggage fees. I figured the most urgent things that we need (that isn't overly expensive like a car seat or crib) are cloth diapers. So I registered for some online. BRU did not have a good selection of cloth diapers. Plus cloth diapers are easy to stuff inside a suitcase! Or they can have the items shipped to our house.

5) I just made blueberry crumble cake and it is delicious.

6) We are done with cleaning out the spare bedroom. This weekend we are getting rid of all the leftover construction materials and hazardous waste (paint, etc.). I'm going to call Salvation Army or St. Vincent de Paul next month to pick up the bigger things (tv stand, tv, rugs, futon, mattress).

7) I finally figured out which baby carriers I want! Moby for the newborn stage, Babyhawk Mei Tai for infant stage, and then the Mama By Design Calyx Petite for toddler. Go babywearing!

8) I'm fine with just getting the Bob Revolution stroller. I hope to use it mostly for working out. Otherwise, I would like to babywear as much as possible. I am totally anti-stroller, I think they are big and bulky and take up way too much room. Plus I am so bad at navigating them!

3rd Trimester

2010-06-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

At least, I think I am in my 3rd trimester. I mean really, human gestation is 42 weeks so that is 14 weeks each, so maybe I'm not really in my 3rd trimester till 28 weeks? I am 26 weeks now.

Here's the latest:

1) We went to Portland, Oregon for our "babymoon" over Memorial Day Weekend. It was our first time there and we totally loved it. The only thing that sucked was the plane ride there and then the train ride back to the airport on our way home. I felt totally nauseous. We didn't even rent a car, which I was thankful for because being in a car has recently been making me nauseous =(

Getting around Portland was so easy. We walked everywhere. We only took the MAX to and from the airport, which was only about 30 minutes. Our hotel, the Nines, was in a great location. We were a few blocks from the riverfront and also the farmers market.

On Saturday, Bernie did his 13 mile training run, while I rented a bike and biked somewhat along with him and was his water support. Before we got there, I went online and mapped out a run for him and I was eager to ride ahead of him to make sure that the route was ok. It was more than ok, it was beautiful and fun! We were along the water the whole time. We crossed the steel bridge just north of our hotel and continued south along the river until we got to the Springwater corridor. Once we got there, there were trees everywhere and the concrete path turned into asphalt, which I liked. The only thing is that I don't think I would run there by myself, even though there were other solo female runners there. I'm sure it's safe but the thought of being out in the wilderness by myself is a little nervewracking.

After Bernie's run, we walked to the Farmers' Market at PSU. I bought blackberries and raspberries for our cereal, since we had brought Breakfast O's and soy milk with us to the hotel. The blackberries were so juicy, they reminded me of when we lived in Germany and went blackberry picking once with my Auntie Magda.

We also bought tamales to eat for lunch, and then also tried a lamb sausage roll, and then I was on the prowl for vegan cupcakes. I bought a raspberry orange creme and also a chocolate opera. Everything we ate was delicious.

I really liked that farmers' market. It had a nice selection of produce, even organic free range meat! I also liked that it was on a college campus, right next to a student union, so I was able to use clean bathrooms and we even ate inside the dining hall since it was a little wet outside.

After the farmers' market we went back to our hotel for a bit then we had a couple's massage appointment at Spa Sasse. I had never had a prenatal massage where you lay on your stomach so that was cool for like 10 minutes and then I started to feel like I couldn't breathe and so then I got on my side. But overall, it was a decent experience. I still liked my prenatal massage at South Coast Winery the best.

We also bought a few clothes while we were there since it is tax-free. I got a few flowy summery dresses from Ross, yay!

For dinner on Saturday we went to this Italian restaurant called Mama Mia Trattoria because I was totally craving tiramisu. I got this sampler appetizer platter that was mostly vegetables. That was yummy and of course the tiramisu, delicious.

Sunday we did a crapload of walking. We walked all the way from our hotel to the Nike factory outlet in NE Portland, then back to the NW side to REI because we were thinking of getting the BOB stroller since it was on sale, and no tax, but then I did the math and we'd only save $5 so it wasn't worth it. We had dinner at The Original, which was good, but I think I liked Mama Mia better. Then we went to Voodoo Donuts since we had heard so much about them. We stood in line for like 30 minutes and we got the vegan chocolate peanut, then the rest were non-vegan: the Ol' Dirty Bastard, the maple bacon, and the Mexican Hot Chocolate. I tried them all except the maple bacon, it just looked gross, but Bernie liked it. I thought the donuts were good, but I don't know, donuts to me are donuts. I liked my vegan cupcakes better =)

We also stopped by Powell Books and Bernie read a few books to the baby. I liked "Bunny Days", that was a funny book.

Overall, I totally loved Portland. I kept on talking about living there and what we would do if we did live there. We would live in NW Portland since there is an LA Fitness there and Whole Foods, plus it seems a bit quieter and nicer than downtown and NE Portland. Then we would go for walks on the waterfront and we could take the kids to the Rose Test Garden and let them frolick amongst the roses and Bernie goes, "But what about the thorns?" I totally forgot roses had thorns. So no frolicking in the rose bushes for the little babies. Anyway I can't wait to go back to Portland again. I also loved how green it is and how it's so easy to eat healthy there because they are so supportive of local organic foods. Oh we also ate at Bijou Cafe for breakfast on Sunday and they use organic eggs!!!

2) I'm interested in getting my placenta encapsulated so I emailed 3 people to see what their rates are. I've heard from all but one and they are the same price so I just need to choose who I'm going with.

3) We are going to start cleaning out our spare bedroom, yay!!! I love getting rid of stuff!

Nesting

2010-05-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

I am totally roosting. I used to love baking and haven't in awhile. But just in the past 2 weeks I have made monkey bars (chocolate banana bars), lemon bars (thanks to a plethora of lemons from Hynobirthing instructor), and just the other day, almond-chocolate cupcakes.

I don't even like citrusy desserts, but I seriously had no idea what to do with all those lemons because we had just bought a bag from the farmers' market. But they came out so yummy! Also I made the monkey bars for one of Bernie's coworker's baby's first birthday. I like giving homemade presents. We brought some lemon bars to our birthing class and Bernie also brought some to work for a potluck.

I came across the almond-chocolate cupcake recipe in a vegetarian cookbook I have. It was really for a cake but I have been wanting to make cupcakes for awhile. So I made them and they are tasty, so I froze some and that is what we are having for Bernie's birthday this Thursday. I was really excited that they came out well because I kept thinking, what type of cake do I want for the baby's birth day? Almond-orange cake it is. I have this vision of starting to bake the cake when I start labor and hopefully by the time I'm done, it'll be time to go to the birth center to meet our baby. Yeah! And maybe I can always make this cake for baby's birthday. I love the recipe because it is vegan and sweetened with honey, but I can also use agave. It came out a little crumbly, I think because I used oat flour, so next time I will try spelt.

And now for a few other baby things:

1) I love the baby, but dear god, this heartburn sucks. However, it IS better than that damn PUPPPs rash. I was taking dandelion root for the PUPPPs but then I read that it also causes heartburn so I stopped taking it. The rash is getting better, however, the heartburn is not. I'm not taking anything for it, but have been doing side stretches because that appears to help. Also, eating slowly and deep breathing. I am also not eating any fried foods.

2) I am interested in doing selective vaccinations/delayed vaccinations for the baby. I plan on reading the Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears next month to come up with a schedule. But one of the things I wanted to do is start looking for pediatricians that are open to this idea because apparently, not a lot of them are. Yesterday I was able to find 2 pediatricians and have scheduled free consultations to meet with them in July and August and they are both within 5 miles of our house. So happy about that!!!

3) Yesterday I also started my "to-do" list for the baby, things to do in June, July, and August. It made me feel so much better after I was done because I love seeing everything all organized and prioritized on paper.

4) This Sunday is our last Hypnobirthing class. I'm so sad about that. I totally love Jo, our instructor. She is so incredibly sweet and I have learned so much about birthing choices and labor. She has instilled so much confidence in me that I can birth our child naturally, that my body was MADE for this. I love the breathing and relaxing techniques we have learned and I use them daily to feel peace and calm.

5) Last Saturday I went with my cousin and her friend for a Mother's Day spa day at South Coast Winery in Temecula. It was awesome! They had really soft robes and I didn't have to use a body pillow for the prenatal massage since they had this table that inclined like a hospital bed. It was so relaxing... except for the one part where I started feeling nauseous and wanted to throw up. Luckily all I had to do was turn on my side and I felt better. Being pregnant is so weird sometimes.

Nonbaby stuff... I have been eating more meat since the end of January, because it is what I have been craving. Before January, we rarely ate meat at home, but would on occasion when we eat out. I have been meaning to read The China Study for awhile now but have been a little scared to read it, because I know it will scare me off meat. Well I am finally reading it. It is a little technical, but really interesting. We've eaten mostly vegetarian before so I don't think it is going to be a problem to revert back to that soon.

We are 6 months along now!!!

Ironbaby

2010-05-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Little Baby,
Today I felt like we worked as a team.
Maybe you sensed my excitement, waiting for the race to start, seeing all the other participants, talking about you to my friends and how excited me and your daddy are to have you growing inside of me.
I haven't ran in awhile, maybe about a month ago. Does it count that one time I decided to walk to the post office on a day where it rained on and off and I thought I could escape being drenched? It was sunny on my walk there but then of course, started pouring on my way back, which forced me to run, but I could only do it for about a minute because I could feel you bouncing on my bladder.
But as I crossed the start line today, little baby, I couldn't contain my energy. I started to run. Very slowly. I saw your daddy on the sidelines and he took a picture of me. I was able to run most of the race, I think the total distance that I walked was less than 1/4 of a mile. I felt so good. When I was tired, I walked and drank water. I listened to my music and enjoyed watching the other racers. I waved to my friends on the turnaround parts. I wore a "Baby on Board" sign on the back of my tank top, which I made, and daddy helped pin on me this morning. I got a lot of "Congratulations!" and "That's so awesome!" from other Irongirls, and it made me feel good.
I was so happy and proud when I finished today's 5k in 42:24. I felt how I felt when I did my very first race way back in 2000, when me and your daddy were just friends but I secretly liked him. And although he doesn't like to admit it, I think he secretly liked me too. I felt so good to have completed the race, and surprised myself by running most of it, when I had totally planned on walking.
Thank you for sleeping peacefully today and not bouncing or kicking mommy's bladder during the 5k. Even though I wouldn't have been upset if you did, I wouldn't have minded walking, but it was nice to run again today.
I look forward to the day we can run together.
I love you little baby!

More Than Halfway!

2010-04-30T13:15:00.001-07:00

Yay I am 21.5 weeks now! The baby kicks a lot more now and is even strong enough for Bernie to feel. I love that he can feel the baby now. Also we have started borrowing books from the library and reading to the baby almost every night. Well I don't do the reading, I let Bernie do it since the baby is with me all day and hears me more =) My favorite book we've read so far is "Falling for Rapunzel". It's so funny!

I had another prenatal appointment on the 22nd... it went well. Still had to wait over an hour but after meeting with the midwife and telling her that I was concerned about the extremely long wait times every time I come, she explained that she knew she was behind but she loves her job so much and ends up talking too much with mamas. So how could I possibly be mad at that? I think it is great that she loves her job and is sincerely interested in her patients. The birth center is starting group pregnancy check-ups so I am going to try that for my next appointment. Supposively there is no wait time and you get to meet other moms that are due around the same time as you.

I still have nausea/tiredness on and off. Like this past week, I've been wanting to take more naps after work. And Monday I had a stomachache but went to step class anyway and the stomachache got worse and all I could do the rest of the evening was lay on the couch. It was awful. But I am feeling good today!!!

Also the rash that I had on my stomach... my midwife told me it is called PUPPP, which stands for pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy which is a total pain in the a$$. There are some parts of the day that it is so incredibly itchy. I did try icing my stomach last night and that was awesome. I'm going to do that every night I think. I read that 70% of women who get this give birth to boys! So that is a little exciting. I kinda want a boy for Bernie but don't mind having a girl for myself! I'm going to Whole Foods this weekend to buy dandelion root because I hear that helps.

I have been feeling much better about my weight gain. It seems to have slowed down even though my midwife says my baby is growing "on schedule". I am going to keep working out and eating sensibly!

We started our Hynobirthing class last weekend. I totally love it. Jo Kilburn is our instructor and she is wonderful!!! Also we went to Babies in Bloom in Vista last weekend and got to see/touch all these cloth diapers and even tried on a few carriers. I also started reading "The Diaper Free Baby" which is all about elimination communication so that your baby is out of diapers sooner. Most babies around the world are potty trained way earlier than babies here in the US.

Can't believe it is going to be May tomorrow and by the end of the month, I will be in the 3rd trimester!!!

Kicky

2010-04-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

Starting last week, I started feeling a lot more of that popcorn popping feeling in the area below my belly bottom. I totally love it!
I was a little worried though the other day. I hardly felt the baby kick and I thought it was due to a number of things:
1) I had an exhausting weekend. I couldn't sleep Friday night and then didn't wake up on Saturday until 10am, which is really late for me. Then I ate breakfast, had a stomachache, then fell back asleep for a good hour. Then we went to Carlsbad to pick up Bernie's race packet for the Carlsbad 5000. Then I went back to sleep again until we met our friends for dinner.
Sunday we woke up super early to go to Carlsbad since Bernie was going to do the "All Day 25k" which meant he was doing five 5k's. I guess if I wasn't pregnant, I would've done it too. I am so glad I brought my bike, it totally helped since we parked a little far and I was able to bike from the race area to the car to take naps and eat, etc. We did go to this new breakfast place though after in Solana Beach called Claire's, that was pretty good. Then of course, I took a long ass nap when we got home.
2) I was also a little sad this past weekend because one of Bernie's friend's daughters died of a brain tumor. She was diagnosed 2 years ago and I think she was only 4 then. Bernie's friend (the dad) had been blogging about their whole experience and I had been reading regularly over the past two years so it was just so heartbreaking to have it all end this way. And this poor family has been through so much, during this whole time, they also had a baby girl die in utero 5 days before her due date and their house was robbed recently. I mean seriously, what more can happen to this family? Ugh. Just so incredibly sad.
I felt a lot better after I cried about it (really hard) to Bernie Sunday night and talked about how I felt. The memorial service is this Saturday and Bernie plans on going. I told him that if I wasn't pregnant I would go, but I don't know if I could deal with all that sadness right now.

I went to step class on Monday night and when I got home, I suddenly felt this burst of energy and started cleaning up the house. I hadn't felt the baby kick much that day and so on Tuesday I was all talking to it and saying that it was ok because I wasn't sad anymore. I went to my prenatal yoga class Tuesday night and at the end of class, the baby started kicking. Yay, little baby!

Oh and while I was writing this post, I glanced at my stomach and saw the baby kick!

What else... I have been researching cloth diapers like mad. I love how colorful and cute they are! I am thinking about newborn covers with prefolds, then one sized pocket diapers after that.

My belly has also been incredibly itchy. I feel bad because I have a rash from scratching =( Coconut oil wasn't helping so I went to Whole Foods and bought this baby massage oil which is absolute heaven on my belly. It was a little pricey though so I am going to research recipes tomorrow to try and make my own.

20 weeks next Monday!!!!!!!!

Progress

2010-04-02T12:20:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to the UCSD "Meet the Midwives" event and then decided to go to the Sharp "Baby on the Way!" event after all. I also looked into Dr. Biter's new birthing center opening this summer and the Birth Roots birth center that opened up in February.

If money and insurance wasn't an issue, I would totally do a home birth with the Birth Roots midwives. Sarah was so incredibly nice and patient with all the questions I had. But my insurance doesn't cover them as in network. Phooey!

The UCSD event was good. I got there early and they had decent spread of food. Actually there were these sweet and sour meatballs and I think I ate eight of them, they totally reminded me of when my godfather used to take me to this Chinese restaurant in Georgia when I used to live there when I was a kid. There are 12 midwives, one of which is male. I thought their doula program worked so that you could work with a doula during your pregnancy but it sounded like you would be assigned one when you get into labor, which I think is a little weird because I thought the point of having a doula is to have someone there who is supporting you and you have a relationship...? Maybe they make exceptions for some moms, I didn't ask.

I didn't go on the tour although I wish I had. I signed up for another event they are having at the end of the month so I will do the tour then. I didn't like that the midwife who will attend your labor is whoever is on call at that time. So you have a 1 in 12 chance of getting the midwife that you want.

Sharp had way more bells and whistles... their facilities were nicer, slightly better refreshments, well put together and professional slide show presentation. This hospital has money. Which also means I am sure it is way more expensive to give birth here. I'm familiar with Sharp because I've dealt with them in the past and because of that, I felt a lot more comfortable there. I think it is weird though that they don't allow midwives to deliver in their facility. It doesn't seem like there are not as open to natural birthing as UCSD, which is really disappointing.

So this is what I've decided. I am going to do my natural birth at Best Start and am now in the midst of deciding whether to go with Sharp or UCSD as my backup in case I have to transfer. UCSD has a birth center and a labor/delivery unit. I heard from a friend who gave birth recently and started at Best Start that they will transfer to Sharp for non-emergencies in labor and then UCSD for emergencies. So I'll ask that at my next appointment.

Ok so next thing I was focusing on this week was a birthing class. I was deciding between Bradley and Hynobirthing and I've decided to do Hynobirthing. I found an instructor, Jo Kilburn and spoke with her yesterday and she was really nice. We tentatively start classes at the end of the month! Yay!

Baby news - I think I may have felt a kick Wednesday night while I was watching one of my favorite movies, "Knocked Up" (so appropriate)! I haven't felt anything since then though, but I send messages to the baby all the time to move and kick me =)

Oh and more great news, I was able to score a bunch of used maternity clothes off Craigslist last weekend. I LOVE CRAIGSLIST.

I'm continuing to improve on the eating/weight gain situation. I am diligently drinking my green smoothies daily and getting my daily exercise. This week I didn't run, just walked 3 miles because it seems like my uterus felt heavy. I have no other way to describe that feeling.

18 weeks on Monday!

4 Months Tomorrow!

2010-03-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

I love hitting monthly milestones!
This was a good week. I ran/walked a few times, went to weights class, and even rode my bike a little. My stomach has not been as queasy and I am getting better at eating before I feel so hungry that I want to throw up. Oh and did I mention Preggie Drops? I bought them at Babies R Us last Sunday and they are dee-lish!

I had my 2nd prenatal appt. on Thursday. I was a bit frustrated when I left. I have been to Best Start 3 times, once with my first pregnancy and then twice for this pregnancy and all three times, I have had to wait almost an hour to see the midwife. Grrr! I think they are just way overbooked. And one of the receptionist/medical assistants was kinda rude and kept insisting that I had to pay $100 for a postpartum home visit and I was like, "But if I come here, there's no fee right?" and she said they just recently enforced a new rule that said home visits only. WTF.

So I spoke to another receptionist and she said that I was correct and that I didn't have to pay the $100. What a pain in the ass. I was totally annoyed.

So after my appt. I went home and started doing research and tomorrow I am going to UCSD's birth center's "Meet the Midwives" event and I am super excited. I have been looking at other people's reviews on giving birth there and they have all been positive and I LOVE the fact that they have a volunteer doula program!!! Sharp Mary Birch is also having an orientation on Wednesday and I love Sharp, that's where my primary doctor is but they are not that natural birth-friendly. So as much as I love Sharp, I don't feel comfortable giving birth there. So I probably won't be going to the Sharp orientation.

I also started wearing maternity clothes this week. What a relief. I feel so much more comfortable. Oh and the baby is doing good, I heard the heartbeat on Thursday too. I recorded it on my cell phone so Bernie could hear it. I love that it is all fast, like a runner's heartbeat. Still can't feel movement yet though. Hopefully soon!!!

Oh this week I also booked our babymoon trip. I've always wanted to go to Portland so that's where we're going. I am so excited because I heard it's all a treehugging city, my favorite!

Holy Chipotle

2010-03-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

I was totally craving Chipotle today. At 3:30 in the afternoon? Who does that?!?
So I walked over to Chipotle since I was working from home and learned a few things about my beloved Chipotle. First of all, I wasn't a huge fan of Chipotle pre-pregnancy. It's not real mexican food right? But what I like about Chipotle is that they buy meat from sustainable farms. Sure it's not organic, but it's also not Tyson.
Ok so what I found out is that they have 3 different types of taco holders! Soft flour tortillas, soft corn tortillas and then the hard shell corn tortillas. And you can do a combination, not just one type! You can also do this with the meats. I'm not a huge fan of flour tortillas so I got 2 soft corn and 1 hard corn, 2 of them filled with chicken and the other carnitas. They stuffed them up good with beans, rice, and meat, leaving no room for salad, cheese, and whatever goodness they put it in so I asked them to put it in a separate container. So really I went home with 3 tacos and a huge salad with taco fixins'. Ingenious!
Then after I ate it all I totally looked like I was 7 months pregnant.
Oh speaking of which, I went to a prenatal yoga class yesterday. I totally loved it. I love how I'm the only student so it's like a private yoga session and the instructor is due 3 days before me and then they bring us tea after. I'm going to go as much as I can throughout this pregnancy.
And then after class I stopped by a friend's house and picked up some maternity clothes. I was so ecstatic to try them on when I got home. Yay now I finally have clothes to wear! I am totally sporting them next week to work!!!
I also got back into my modified pregnant workout routine. Monday's step class totally kicked my ass and I think from now on, I am going to only use 1 riser instead of 2. I was all hot and tired. Today after the fat tacos, I rested a little and then went for a 3 mile run/walk. That felt wonderful being outside in the blustery wind, listening to my music. Tomorrow, weights class! And then a week from tomorrow, my 2nd prenatal appointment!

And now entering...

2010-03-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

the 2nd trimester! Woohoo! I made 13 weeks last Monday.

So the doula thing didn't work out. She had some work scheduling issues and backed out... I'm a little bummed but oh well.

I finally told my boss on Tuesday, that felt tremendously good. He was like, "I was wondering why you were eating salads at 10 in the morning!" I was so relieved because he is really happy for us and super understanding since I told him how much this meant to us since we already had two miscarriages.

It's funny, in the morning when I wake up, I don't feel like I am showing but after I eat something, it's almost as if the baby consumes it all and I look totally pregnant. I will be posting belly pics soon!

Our friends Kent and Lisa got married on Friday in La Jolla. The venue was on the water and absolutely beautiful. I cried through all the speeches, they were all so touching. We got lots of congratulations too for the baby =) They had an open bar and I was feenin for a drink so badly!!! I had 3-5 sips of red wine and was feeling pretty good, then Bernie cut me off. Probably a good thing he did. I imagined the baby feeling as buzzed as me.

Oh so Thursday night I babysat for our friends that came down for the wedding since they attended the rehearsal dinner. All by myself! Bernie was supposed to help out but we forgot that he had class. I was nervous at first but it ended up being kinda fun. She is 17 months old, so after we got home, we walked (very slowly) to the park and I watched her walk around the playground. She even got up on the little slides by herself and went down. Then I got home and I fed her dinner, which was a little messy. Little bits of rice all over her chair and our floor, mixed with grains of sand that kept falling out of her shoes. Thank goodness for our vacuum cleaner!

The only difficult part, and this only lasted about 5 minutes, was when I was changing her diaper and she started crying. Then I tried to put her pajamas on and she took it up a notch. Yikes! But I put her down to sleep and she was still crying so I went to pee really quick and then she stopped and fell asleep. Yay! I survived babysitting by myself!

We had our taxes done on Saturday - so glad that is over with. Every year I think, maybe we should save money and do this on our own but it is good to know that our tax accountant is all knowledgeable about the ever changing tax laws, plus she is such a sweetheart. Also it is a little far from our house, about a 30 minute drive, so we always try to hike after the appointment. Yesterday we went to Cowles mountain. It felt really good to be working out since I hadn't done anything in a few weeks since I had a cold.

And then we went to Niban for sushi. Ah my beloved Niban. Inexpensive delicious sushi. Yesterday we got fried calamari, a small salad (for less than 2 bucks!), a caterpillar roll, an albacore supreme roll, and a crunchy roll, 2 hot teas, all for $31! And their rolls are humongous!

Today we went to the gym, Bernie took a cycle class and I did the elliptical then ran 1 mile on the treadmill. I would've liked to run outside but it started raining. I plan on getting back into my workout routine this week. Tomorrow, step class! When we got home I said to Bernie, "I am totally craving fried fish with tomatos and patis". Patis is filipino fish sauce and it is super salty. Ok when was the last time I ate this stuff?

The husband was all excited, we went to this filipino restaurant by our house and got a bunch of stuff and ate it at home with our brown rice and organic tomatoes. I couldn't believe how cheap it was. We got the fried fish, sisig (fried pork skin with a bunch of other stuff), shanghai lumpia (eggrolls), pancit palabok (noodle dish), and turon (banana lumpia) for $10 something. On our way home, Bernie exclaimed, "I LOVE THIS BABY!!!" It was so comforting to be eating filipino food. I totally paid homage to my mom and ate the fish with tomatoes and rice with my hands. I loved it when she fed me like that when I was a kid. Somehow, it always tasted better than if I was to feed it to myself.

Oh yeah I also went to a prenatal yoga class on Wednesday. It was ok, but I didn't feel like I connected with the baby that much. I had gone to one a few weeks ago at a gym in Carmel Mountain and the yogi talked throughout the class about how we were connecting with the baby and I really liked that. So I think I will try to go this Tuesday.

Tomorrow I will be 14 weeks. Our next appt. is on the 18th!

Tender Greens

2010-02-26T17:19:00.000-08:00

We had dinner at this restaurant last night with our friends Kent and Lisa. We were so excited to tell them about the baby!!!

The restaurant itself was really good. It's set up cafeteria style where you order first, get your food, then pay. I had a caesar salad and tomato basil soup. Caesar salad is my latest craving. I used to eat all sorts of salads, mixed greens were my favorite. I don't think I have ever actually ordered a Caesar salad at a restaurant until this pregnancy. I love how creamy and salty the dressing is. Probably not the healthiest thing in the world but at least I am eating greens right? Right now, mixed green salad is probably one of the last things I want to eat.

It was funny last night because they were asking us what type of things have I been eating and BKKB was all happy and excited to tell them: "Oh we have waffles in our house! And bacon... cereal... and cheese! We have cheese!"

It was just the funniest thing hearing him get all excited about it.

Oh, here's a cool thing... I was looking on Craigslist and found a doula in training and so I am meeting with her next week. Since she's in training, she is offering her services for free! I like free!

A New Life!

2010-02-23T20:19:00.000-08:00

I think it is safe to come out of the closet.

We've been TTC since July 2008. We lost our first baby after 8 weeks in Dec. 2009 and then the 2nd after 6 weeks last August.

So this is our 3rd pregnancy and the farthest we have been. Monday is always a milestone day - that is when we complete a "week". The baby is a little over 12 weeks now.

We had our first appt. last Thursday. I had the exam first and the midwife thought it might be a little early to find the heartbeat with a Doppler but decided to give it a go anyway. She was able to find the heartbeat right away and it was the most wonderful thing to hear... 170bpm!!! He has a little runner's heart! Yeah, go baby!

Then we had the ultrasound. This was literally the moment I had been waiting for forever. I was so anxious the weeks and days leading up to it, and thought about making my appt. sooner. But I am glad we waited.

I will never forget the moment we saw him. I was laying on the exam table and started crying the most happiest tears and I felt like my heart had let out an incredible sigh of relief, thinking of the babies we have lost and how beautiful and miraculous it was to finally have confirmation of life growing inside of me.

I will also never forget the smile on my husband's face when he came up to me and started holding my hand while I was crying. His smile was so sweet and full of love for our little baby. Our little baby that was measuring about 2 inches long.

The baby was sleeping at first and we could see his little heart beating. The sonographer took a couple of pictures then he woke up! He started kicking a little, then had short little spasms, what the heck??? The sonographer said he had hiccups! And then we saw him drinking! It was all just so incredible.

I wish I had a camera so we could've recorded those moments. We got to take home some of the pictures though and I love looking at them and picturing him in my uterus all snug and happy. And maybe hiccuping.

One thing that is different about this pregnancy is that I have never felt more nauseous. I have been told that is a good sign =) I haven't actually thrown up but I almost constantly have that unsettled stomach feeling. I try to eat certain things to make it feel better, and sometimes it works. A funny thing that I discovered, and this is actually kinda nice... when I play my ukulele and (attempt) to sing, my stomach feels better. I read that in a few weeks the baby will be able to hear me, but I bet he can at least feel the vibrations from the strumming.

I'm going to try and post more about what I hope to be is my journey to parenthood. A small part of me still worries a little about losing this one, but damnit we have made it so far and the wanting to throw up part has got to be a sacrifice for something. So please be a sticky baby so we can love you, feed you (mostly) healthy food, and take you running with us!!!

I "TRI"ed!

2009-03-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

I completed a triathlon today! It was great! The distance was a 5k run, 17 mile bike, then 175 yards in a pool. I actually had FUN because I wasn't worrying about time at all and it was cool to switch it up and not just run the whole time. It rained so hard on the last part of the bike portion, but I was still enjoying every second. I was so emotional when I finished that I actually started crying because i had wanted to do a triathlon for so long. Yay my dreams came true today! And Bernie did the 5k and placed 2nd in his age division! And I didn't come in last in my division =)

I felt so great after my race. I think I see why triathlons are addicting. They are way funner than half marathons.

So we're crazy, we signed up for the La Jolla Half. I totally hated that race last year. I'm not quite sure why i'm doing it again. Maybe from peer pressure from Bernie and my friend that did the Carlsbad Half. I hope I have fun with this race although I don't think I've ever considered any of my half marathons as "fun". Just brutal.

I guess I'm just a masochist, haha.

Here I Am

2009-02-13T20:51:00.001-08:00

What I've been up to:

1) I decided last month that this is the year that I'm going to complete a triathlon. So I've signed up for a super sprint on March 22nd: a 5k run, 17 mile bike ride, and a 175m swim, IN A POOL. Yup, it's a reverse tri! I am having fun training because I don't feel like I am getting bored of any one activity. Although sometimes I am a little frustrated with the swimming part since I'm not that great. But I am getting better and I can somewhat swim 175m without stopping or touching the bottom of the pool, but that is a combination of freestyle, hanging out on my back, and doggy paddling.

2) I just recently started running with my husband's iPOD. Seriously, where have I been? This is the greatest invention ever! That and the fact that I can get free dj hip hop mixes online! I could run every fricken day!

3) I've had this chronic shoulder pain since I was in high school. I am so serious about getting rid of it. I've tried physical therapy before but lagged on doing the recommended exercises. So now I'm in physical therapy and I love my therapist, she's a triathlete! I know it is going to take some hard work, but I know I will be pain free!

4) I think I've already read at least 8 books so far this year. Not having cable TV is actually pretty cool. Now I really have free time.

5) I'm doing such a great job on menu planning. Every Monday, our CSA puts out a list of what is *most likely* to be in our box. So I write down the list and find or come up with something that will use what we are going to get, and put this at the bottom of my list. Then I have this binder with all my recipes but in the back, I keep one plastic sleeve for each month. And after each week, I put the list with the titles of the recipes I have made with that week's CSA produce into that month's plastic sleeve. So in the future, I can go back and see what I did with that week's food. This is going to make my life so much easier hopefully because the farm does grow things seasonally. I've been averaging 2-4 recipes per week to cook. And this has been totally manageable. I usually label and freeze half of what I cook. Whatever we don't cook gets used for salads and smoothies.

6) Enjoying my life!

2009 Book #1 - "Remember Me?"

2009-01-05T21:47:00.000-08:00

This is the 2nd book I've read by Sophia Kinsella. The first one was "Undomestic Goddess" which I really enjoyed. "Remember Me?" was no exception. The author is funny and witty. I don't want to say too much, but basically it is about this woman who wakes up from a coma and discovers that she cannot remember the last 3 years of her life. From what she can remember, she was pretty much an ugly duckling and she wakes up and is beautiful and married to a super gorgeous man and is living the good life. There is a funky twist in the book that I don't want to give away, but overall, I would give this book a 10, on a scale from 1-10.

My next book is "Angels and Demons"!

Stronger

2009-01-03T17:23:00.001-08:00

Today was my first day back at the gym in over a week. I was a little disappointed because I had wanted to take a step class, but the instructor never showed. So I ended up hanging out on the elliptical runner, then stretching and doing push-ups. Real boy ones! I can't do that many but I always feel strong when I'm done. I do hope to increase the amount this year =)

I started my new work hours so now I am working 2nd shift and I am pretty excited about it because now I can go to all the morning classes at the gym. I've worked 2nd shift before at my previous corporate job and it was hard at first because I didn't know a lot of people in SD and it is hard to socialize when you work while everyone is ready for happy hour. But it feels different now, I'm not drinking like I used to and I have friends who like to socialize in other ways, like working out together. Or meeting for lunch.

The only somewhat sad thing is that I won't be able to see my husband as much, especially if he starts working the early shift at his new job. But I tell myself that this isn't forever, and one day I will have what everyone considers a "normal" job, but for right now, I am happy with my unstressful job and hours. What I like the most is having the mornings all to myself, quiet and unhurried.

Best of 2008 and Goals for 2009

2009-01-02T14:22:00.000-08:00

I have been inspired by Chocolate and Zucchini" to create a "Best Of" for last year. So here it is:

******************** Best of 2008 ********************

Best Career Moment: Getting a new (less stress, more $$$) job at one of the best companies in SD to work for!

Best Vacation: Tie between trip to Costa Rica in January, trip to Hawaii in April, and my friends' wedding in Playa del Carmen in October

Best Race: Carlsbad Half Marathon completed in less than 2 hours and 13 minutes.

Biggest Physical Accomplishments: Completing the Triple Crown Series with my husband and friend Micah (Carlsbad Half, La Jolla Half, and American's Finest City Half) and learning how to swim better (and with confidence)

Best New Healthy Habit: Green smoothies and eating with awareness (ie. accessing my hunger level and watching portion sizes)

Best New Treehugging Habit: Using reuseable shopping bags more and reducing trips that require multiple stops (blech!)

Favorite Health "Toys": Blendtec blender, Polar RS200sd Heart Rate Monitor, and Klean Kanteen

Favorite Proof That I Make a Difference: Convinced my friend Cynthia to start doing road races (we did the Iron Girl 10k in June) and she is doing her first half marathon this month!

****************************************************
And with that, here are are my goals for 2009. I realized that I prefer the word "goals" to "resolutions" because to me, the word resolutions indicates that there is a problem and that you are going to resolve to make it better, which is probably true. However, "goals" are much more powerful and challenging to me, and if there is anything that I learned these past couple of years is that I do like challenging myself and reaching goals. Plus goals, to me, means you have at least some game plan in place, some type of list or road map on how you are going to achieve that goal. And I am all about lists and plans. Really, as much as I hate to admit this, it really boils down to me really liking, needing, and thriving in a lifestyle that has structure. I don't know if that makes me anal or not, but I am glad I know what it takes me to make me a better person.

And without further ado:

*********** My Goals for 2009 ***********

1.       Communicate more effectively and patiently with my husband.
2.       Read at least 12 books.
3.       Live simply by reducing unnecessary spending.
4.       Eat with awareness (yes, this is ongoing).
5.       Be good to myself!

I had this converation with my BFF Maria last year on how we prefer years that are even, because odd numbers aren't that pretty. But I am optimistic about this year because I got a new job, my husband has a new job, and now we feel confident and ready financially and physically for babies! So I was thinking of ways to like 9. Well 9 is a nice number because it's 3 squared. And I like the number 3.

So I am really optimistic about this year, and I feel like it will only get better for us. If babies are not in our future this year, then I will probably attempt a sprint triathlon or perhaps the California Dreamin' race series. And also plan a great trip somewhere.

Happy, healthy 2009 to you!

Side note - I am still going to try and not eat refined sugar this year. It will be easier if we eat most of our food at home, so that is also a goal but I didn't include it because I feel like "living simply" somewhat covers that endeavor. =)

A New Year

2009-01-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

Today was a sunny first day of the new year. We went to Pacific Beach and walked all the way to Mission Beach on the beach, and then on the boardwalk on the way back. I think that is about a 3.5 mile walk and it felt so good to finally do something active, since I hadn't worked out since Christmas Eve.

We saw some interesting things, lots of sand castles, a sea lion carcass (yeah that was sad), windsurfers, and a few stranded Christmas trees on the beach. The weather was a little chilly, but the sun felt good on my face and I felt happy that we started the new year outdoors with fresh air and sunny San Diego weather.

Baking Fa-renzy

2008-12-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

12/19 Friday
I've totally been feeling like nesting lately. Last week I had made an oven apple pancake and then on Monday, my spelt version of mini cinnamon rolls. The rolls were a little on the dry side but still yummy. Next time, I may tweak that recipe more or try this one.

Then at work I always have the Food Network channel on. They keep replaying segments of holiday baking, which just fuels the fire. So I made my version of nanaimo bars. I think they taste like fancy Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Cups. But of course, mine are better for you =) I brought the nanaimo bars to work and everyone loved them! Yay for healthy baking!

Kickin It Sugar-Free

2008-12-06T12:11:00.000-08:00

After reading this blog, I have been inspired to try and eat only foods that are naturally sweetened. This means no white sugar products. This is already kind of easy for me since I have been baking with honey, agave nectar, fruit concentrates, stevia, dried fruit, etc. since 2005.

The challenge will be outside of my house. And items that have "evaporated cane juice" in it. I've done some research and some say it is not as refined as white sugar, others say it is a fake "healthy" name for white sugar. Maybe I am in denial but I still consider it not as refined as white sugar. I am sure it has the same effects inside of my body though, and really, aren't all sweeteners the same? They all spike your blood sugar to some extent, but I guess some more rapidly than others.

But stevia is the one natural sweetener that has zero calories and does not spike your blood sugar. There is some controversy though surrounding its uses and right now, it has not been approved by the FDA as a food ingredient, only as a supplement.

I think stevia is super sweet but in large quantities, I detect a slight bitter aftertaste. Right now I use the Trader Joe's brand but am open to trying other ones.

Updated 1/2/09: This is a good post on white sugar vs. evaporated cane juice. In short, sugar is bit more refined than ECJ, so while I wouldn't go out and buy a bag of ECJ, I don't mind it in prepared desserts or chocolate, especially my beloved chocolate chips.

Blast From the Past

2008-11-29T15:55:00.000-08:00

Back in the days, when I was in middle school, I was totally in love with New Kids on the Block. Seriously, who wasn't. One of my BFF's went to the concert last month and said I HAD to go and even sent me a copy of their CD, which is really good.

I went on Tuesday with my old coworker/friend and we had a BLAST. We first ate at Pizza Nova in Pt. Loma, good stuff. We missed the opening act Natasha Bedingfield, which was all good, because I'm not that into her. It was hilarious because they were selling the old school T-shirts and huge ass buttons. Hilarious!

Our seats were decent, on the side of the stage. There was so much energy before they came on stage and the second they turned the lights off, EVERYONE started screaming, including us. I felt like I was in middle school again.

I stood throughout the whole concert and sang almost every song. They did some old stuff and new stuff and of course they are older, but man do they still look hot. HOT. I loved it!!!

Pre-Thanksgiving Marathon

2008-11-22T11:40:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure how this happened but we are hosting Thanksgiving again this year. In fact now that I think about it, ever since we've lived in our condo, we've always had people over. But it always turns out great and I enjoy the time we get to spend with friends and family. And it's kinda nice because since I'm doing most of the cooking, I can control the amount of healthiness that goes into our food.

So this year I decided to be pro-active and do as much preparation as possible before the big day.

Last Wednesday and Thursday, I made pumpkin tarts, apple tarts, mini chocolate cupcakes, banana chocolate oat bars, tofu turkey, spelt/millet bread (whole grain and yeast free!), stuffing muffins (made with the spelt/millet bread), and mushroom gravy. Then I threw it all in the freezer and made a list of the remaining dishes I want to make closer to Thanksgiving.

Everything I made is vegan, sugar-free (I used fruit or agave syrup) and made mostly with organic ingredients.

I was a bit nervous about making the tofu turkey, which I adapted from here. One of the biggest changes I made is that I didn't stuff my tofu turkey, which is why I made stuffing muffins, which I adapted from a bunch of recipes, but really got the idea from Rachael Ray.

We've had the brand Tofurkey the past 2 years and I really like it. But this year I really wanted to try to make it myself. And I think it tastes pretty good. Not as tofurkey-ish as tofurkey, but still good.

My new thing for this Thanksgiving too is portion control. That's why I made dessert tarts instead of a whole pie and stuffing muffins. Because really, most people just want to taste something and if they want more, then go for it. I have a whole 9x13 pyrex container in the freezer filled with the desserts I made, which I'm sure is more than enough for the amount of people that I'm hosting.

For the rest of the meal, I plan on having mashed potatoes with sweet potatos, cranberry relish, and steamed vegetables, either asparagus or green beans, or maybe even both. Oh and then I have to buy chicken or turkey for everyone else. Because I think I will be the only one eating the tofurkey. Bernie says that a Vons rotisserie chicken is good enough for everyone but the overachiever in me doesn't want any part of our Thanksgiving to be fabricated.

I can cook it! I can cook it all!!! Muahahaaaa!!!

Weekend with the BFF

2008-11-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

One of my BFF's Rosanna came to visit during my last "weekend". I picked her up from the airport Tuesday night and we went to Moondoggies in PB and were there for the inaugural announcement that Obama is our new president-elect! It was so exciting, everyone in the bar was cheering and I felt really happy and strangely optimistic about the future of our country. But maybe it was the beer.

Anyway I had a lotta fun while she was here. On Wednesday we took the Viejas shuttle bus and spent 2 hours at the buffet eating and talking. I totally love their cookies. And ice cream. Mmm so yummy.

Then we walked around the outlets and I bought more GAP sweaters. I've decided from now on to try and buy clothes for work that don't require ironing. Because ironing sucks. Thus, sweaters are a good choice. Plus they are all furry and warm.

The next day, we decided to bike from Mission Bay to Mission Beach. We also brought along lunch and the picnic blanket so we could hang out on the beach. It was a really nice day out, sunny and slightly warm. When we got to Mission Beach, we walked around Belmont Park a little, then sat on the beach and ate. We decided to touch the water to see how cold it was and we weren't even there for 2 minutes... we turned around and a crapload of seagulls invaded our picnic and flew away with Rosanna's sandwich. It was pretty funny but we were kinda grossed out that they were there so we packed up and biked to Pacific Beach and got frozen yogurt at Yogurtland. Mmm I love Yogurtland.

I really enjoyed the time we got to spend together. At night we just chilled out and watched TV and I was totally fine with that. She lives in the Bay Area and I don't get to see her often, but I talk to her almost every day. But I am all for more girlfriend weekends!!! Hopefully we can do it again sometime next year.

Thanks for visiting Rosanna =)

Juno and Bleeker

2008-11-02T13:44:00.000-08:00

As promised, here are our pics from Halloween. We didn't win any costume contests but I still had fun wearing it.

I'm kind of obsessed with this movie. Juno is fricken hilarious! I keep playing it over and over at work. I even found the chords for "Anyone Else But You", the song that Paulie and Juno sing at the end of the movie and learned how to play it on my ukulele. It's so easy, only 2 chords and the lyrics are so funny.

A few nights ago, I was so excited about learning how to play it that I made Bernie sing it with me. Over and over. He's all, "I just want to go to bed." But it was fun and then I started thinking of other duet songs.

A Whole New World?

Halloween Excitement

2008-10-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we are having a "Pumpkin Jamboree" at work and I entered the pumpkin dessert contest. I tweaked and put together a few recipes to come up with "Cho-conut Pumpkin Tarts" which are mini pumpkin pies with a layer of chocolate and coconut (haupia). Me and Bernie taste tested one earlier and they were pretty good! I hope I win!

Howl-iday Par-tay

2008-10-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

Last night was our company "holiday" party. It was a Halloween costume party so now I am assuming we probably won't have a formal "winter" party. But you know, I'm all good with that because my last year's holiday party (when I was teaching) was a potluck at someone's house.

Me and Bernie decided to go as Juno and Bleeker from the movie Juno. We had fun getting the costumes together and getting ready. It was fricken hilarious. Bernie complained all night about being pregnant and we got lots of compliments. I was like in awe the whole night over all the stuff that was at the party. My company rented out Universal in the Hillcrest which is a nice and swanky place. My friend Aaron kept saying, "Welcome back to the real world Rose!" Seriously!

So here were some of the crazy things they had:

1) Strobe lights outside so you could find the place.
2) Free valet because trying to find parking in Hillcrest sucks
3) A professional photographer taking prom type pictures as people walked in on the "purple" (that's our company color) carpet.
4) Lots of spooky halloween type decorations such as pumpkins, voodoo dolls, spider webs, and the grossest thing ever... there was a light fixture with this clear box under it and inside it, live rats and mice. GROSS!
5) A fortune teller. I asked her if kids were in our future and she said "it'll be awhile".
6) Lots of trees with branches with rock candy lollipops hanging off of them
7) Big cauldrons filled with plastic bags of cotton candy
8) 2 huge cupcake trees
9) Candied apples wrapped in plastic at the bar
10) A help yourself tiered candy thing with all sorts of candy and plastic bags and stickers to haul off your booty.
11) Freeflowing alcohol and bottled water (Voss in glass bottles!)
12) Food stations and tray passed appetizers

I told my husband, "This place is like Willa Wonka on acid."

Of course they had a costume contest but I was kinda disappointed because the announcer guy didn't even know who we were. Hello? Juno and Bleeker! Oh well. They had a live band, but I liked the dj more even though he wasn't all that great. But I had fun dancing with my pregnant husband. Overall, good times at the company party!

PS. I'll try and post pics soon!

Una Boda en Mexico

2008-10-24T12:00:00.000-07:00

We were in Playa del Carmen last weekend for our friends Justin and Betsy's wedding. We stayed at the Iberostar Quetzal which was our first time at an all-inclusive resort. I went to Playa last year to learn Spanish and this experience was much better. The resort was clean, the food was decent, and I had brought probiotics for us to take everyday.

It was so much fun being with our friends on vacation. Me and Bernie were talking about it and he mentioned that we didn't argue as much since we had other people to deflect us and that we should go on vacation with people more. Haha, I totally agree. And I think I would do another all-inclusive, but probably not longer than 5 days. And I was good and ran/worked out while I was there.

One of the cool things we did was take a meringue class. They had a nightclub at the resort and Bernie was tearing up the dance floor like he always does, so the next day, we were hanging out at the bar, and this resort guy says to Bernie, "Hey I saw you dancing at the club, you should come to my meringue class!" So we went and Bernie was the only guy besides the instructor but it was fun. And then I convinced Bernie to take a step class later that day. My argument was, since this is your first time, at least you will never see these people ever again.

The last morning we were there, I had a killer hangover. I went on the recommendation from one of my friends to drink a fruit smoothie at the buffet. I was a little apprehensive about that because the last thing I want is something sweet when I feel crappy. So there was a lady with a Vitamix and I had her make me a smoothie with filtered water, ice, papaya, banana, and pineapple. Their glasses were so small, so she poured me one but clearly there was enough left in the blender to make 2 more. I didn't want to ask for more so I sat down but ended up drinking it in 30 seconds and asking her for more anyway. Then I had Bernie go up and just get the rest of the smoothie.

At the end of breakfast, I had 5 empty smoothie glasses in front of me. And I felt way better.

Fresh & Easy

2008-10-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today was the grand opening of our "Fresh and Easy". We got a coupon in the mail so I biked on over since it's right near my gym, which is about 2 miles from where we live.

It was complete madness. A ton of people with their damn grocery carts hauling huge packages of bottled water. Until I have a family that requires enough food and products to warrant a shopping cart, I will remain anti-shopping cart. I will carry two shopping baskets if I have to but at least I can manuever through people.

So I bought a few items, used my coupon, got a free canvas bag then stuffed everything (including a dozen free-range organic eggs!) nicely into my Sherpani bag and pedaled happily home.

I dropped everything off then biked around some more to run errands and picked up our CSA organic produce. Later, I wanted to bike to the gym but it was already dark and I don't have a headlight on my bike... yet. That is my next purchase. Along with a rack so I can fit my lunch on it when I bike to work.

And of course since the gym is next to F&E, I dropped by again. And got another free canvas bag. Woohoo!

So I like F&E, they have some good stuff. But I wouldn't pick it over Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. But it's a nice store to have closer and within bike-able distance.

"The Secret"

2008-10-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

We just saw "The Secret" at the San Diego Asian Film Festival. This was written, directed, and starred a somewhat cutie, Jay Chou.

This movie was funny, cute, and thought provoking. At the end, I was sitting in my seat thinking, dude what the hell just happened?

I just went online to read what other people thought so now I'm feeling a bit better. I think this was one of the better movies I've seen at the film festival.

Reasons to Love October

2008-10-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

1. Because pumpkin is back in season and that means all the special pumpkin-y flavors, like pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin spice latte, and my favorite, pumpkin pie. I tried to make pumpkin brownies using Trader Joe's gluten free brownie mix and my own pumpkin recipe (used steamed pumpkin, not canned) and they came out so gooey, even though I baked them for an extra hour. We didn't care, we still ate them!

2. Halloween and all the cute decorations at Target. I love looking at them and pretending I can throw a totally cute Halloween party but then the realistic side of me says "Where the hell are you going to store all that? You don't need to buy it." And then I walk out with my credit card still intact and feel completely proud of myself for not giving in to the cuteness.

3. Cooler weather. This provides for more outdoor active pursuits such as running! But this time with more speed and strength because the nice cool weather cools you down, allowing you to really kick butt!

4. The San Diego Asian Film Festival. We went for the Opening Night reception and saw Ping Pong Playa. Jimmy Tsai and Jessica Yu were in the house, answering questions. It was cool because they had food set up by SanSei Grill and a beer table, with a "suggested donation" of a buck. I tried Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry. It tasted ok, but a bit too light for my taste. The movie itself was alright, but Bernie thought it was hilarious. We are going to see 2 more movies next week. We go to the film festival every year and it has grown so much. I'm really happy for their success and will always try and support the Asian community here in SD.

5. Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Of course I'm a supporter and I love all the pink stuff!

On a random note, we went to REI last night to pick up this hat I bought online. When the weather gets cold, I become miserable as hell when my poor little ears are exposed and freezing. But this hat is cool because it covers my ears and keeps them warm and cozy. We walked around and they had all sorts of warm fuzzy sweaters and jackets that I wanted to put them all on and fall asleep.

The 6.5 Mile Suicide Mission

2008-10-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

Since I rode my bike to the gym the other day and totally loved it, I've been feenin' to ride my bike more.

So this morning I got all my stuff together to ride to work. I ate breakfast (egg white omelette with zucchini and tomatoes), put air in my tires, and somehow managed to squish my lunch and snacks into my Sherpani bag, then folded my lunch bag and attached it to the outside, strapped on my Polar heart rate monitor and I was on my way.

It took me a little over 40 minutes to bike the 6.5 miles to work. I had to bike on a busy street that is frequented by huge trucks and at some parts, I got scared and hopped back on the sidewalk.

Well I'm proud that I made it to work in one piece and had enough time to shower. And I got my work-out in for the day, yay! Since it's dark when I get off at 6:30pm and Bernie is off at 6pm, he is just going to pick me up. So at least we only used one car for today.

Workout Frenzy

2008-10-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know what got into me yesterday. I was crazy workout woman. In the morning, I ran 3 miles with Bernie.
Then I cooked and puttered around the house, walked to the library and got some books.
Then I biked 2 miles to the gym, took a 1 hour weights class, then biked 2 miles back home.
Then a bunch of my coworkers came over and drank.
I should've been tired since the night before was super hot and I couldn't sleep, but I was feeling pretty good.

On another note, I was in training on Tuesday and Wednesday for what I hope to be my future job (more on that later), but during class, I wrote a haiku and stuck it in my work badge holder.

I am smart, healthy,
and grateful for my life and
everything in it.

What a Load of BS

2008-09-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

I saw an ad for this on TV and thought it was a joke. But no it is for real. This site claims that high fructose corn syrup is natural and ok to consume, because it's been approved by the FDA.

LIES! IT'S ALL LIES! HFCS IS THE DEVIL!

Eating Healthy @ Work

2008-09-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

I always bring my Klean Kanteen to work, but once in awhile, I crave bubbly too. So I also emailed the responsible office to see if we can get seltzer water or club soda in our free vending machines instead of Sprite or 7-Up. The woman who emailed back said she fully supported my reasons for not drinking soda (sugar, high fructose corn syup) and said she'd look into it. I love people that support healthy lifestyles.

Speaking of health, they are having a free health screening at work tomorrow. I already made my appointment to get my stats, including body fat. Since I started this job, I've noticed my body repairing itself from the stress damage that resulted from my teacher days. I've lost some poundage and my periods are returning to normal.

I guess it helps that I've been really good with how I've been eating at work.Well it helped that I found a bag to accomodate what I like to bring to work:

Inside:

1. AM snack (usually a green smoothie, packed in a recycled Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter Jar)
2. 4 cups salad with dressing
3. 1 1/2 - 2 cups of an entree (some protein via seafood or beans and veggies)
4. PM snack (usually a piece of fruit, crunchy veggie, such as carrots or celery)
5. A pre-workout snack if I go to the gym (nuts or fruit)
6. Reusable stainless steel coffee mug (I bring my own tea and we have filtered hot water at work)
7. Cloth napkin with real silverware, wrapped and held together with a rubber band
8. Bamboo place mat (I like to eat outside at our tables with umbrellas)

Outside:
1. Klean Kanteen (side pocket)
2. In the big pocket, I keep my personal agenda, and any other important stuff (driver's license, credit card, etc.).
3. In the other side pocket, I have my car keys, cell phone, and sunglasses.

Ok, now it's totally time for lunch! Today I brought baked salmon with szechuan green beans. More salmon from my cousin in Alaska, and the beans are from our CSA.

Zappos!

2008-09-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

I love this website. Not only do they offer cute bags and shoes, they pay for shipping both ways! I bought a Sherpani Blaze Sport Duffel Bag from them a few weeks ago and so far, I love it. Sure, a little on the pricey side, but fully functional. And cute.

What I like is that you can convert between using a shoulder strap or wearing it backpack style. I also like the huge opening on the top so I can easily find what I'm looking for. This one's a keeper.

I'm still on the prowl for new black mary janes or maybe even low heel boots? I've ordered at least 7 pairs from Zappos this past week, and they all hurt my feet. Boo! I hate shopping for comfortable shoes. Even though I'm not standing all day at work, I like to take a walk during my breaks. Thus, comfortable shoes are essential. I wear my Crocs on the weekends at work, but I kinda feel self conscious about them during the week. I don't understand how some of these chicks at work walk around in heels and stilettos. Hello? Do you not care about your feet?

A Day at Viejas

2008-09-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

So yesterday we took the Viejas shuttle bus to the casino. I played Blackjack a little when we got there and won some money. I really liked my table. Everyone was really nice and chatty, which eased my nervousness. And I think I played pretty well.

Then we ate at their buffet. Ok so the food wasn't as great as Valley View, but I had to give them 2 thumbs up for their desserts. Their cookies were so soft and chewy!

After lunch, Bernie decided to play poker while I walked around the outlets. I only had a little over an hour to shop and I had spent most of that time at the Gap. I've been buying myself new clothes and shoes since I started my new job. I totally deserve it.

So I actually want to go back in a few weeks so I can check out other stores. I think if next Thursday isn't hot, we are going to Julian for apple picking. Otherwise, we'll be hanging out at the beach.

Spa Day!

2008-09-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

This week is Spa Week so me and my friend Concordia made appointments at The Spa at the La Jolla Hyatt for 50 minute massages for $50. That is a sweet deal considering they are normally $100.

It was really cool because they gave us nice soft robes and after our massage, we hung out in the jacuzzi, steam room, then sauna, all in that order. They even have nice showers with toiletries and of course a locker to put all your stuff. We were there for about 2 hours and it was really nice and relaxing. After that, we were starving and had a late lunch at Leucadia Pizzeria since it was close by.

This was my first time doing Spa Week and I totally signed up to be on their mailing list. I plan to do this every time they have it, which I think is every 6 months. Woohoo!!!

Quinoa and Kale

2008-09-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

Eating gluten free last year and our CSA introduced me to 2 things that I wasn't particularly fond of: quinoa flakes and kale.

First of all, quinoa flakes. I was eating it for breakfast and it just sucked. No matter how much peanut or almond butter, soy milk, banana, whatever. It just tasted funny. And it was expensive as hell.

Then kale. I tried to like it. Really. But it is rough, dark, and bitter. One time though, Bernie removed all the stalk, then julienned the leaves and sauteed with Earth Balance butter and garlic. He may have used the whole tub of butter, I didn't want to know, but damn it was good.

But the other day, I created a great recipe to combine both of these horrendous things into something delicious. And I found that quinoa (the whole kind) is cheaper (1.69 lb at Whole Foods, and NOT in the bulk section. The bulk quinoa is actually more expensive!) than buying quinoa flakes. Take that, packaged food!

Quinoa with Kale

1 bunch of kale, stalks removed (this is easy to do: just hold the stalk by the end then run your hand down and around the stalk and the leaves will be removed. No cutting required!)
1.5 cups of quinoa, rinsed
4 cups water or veggie broth

Pour the quinoa, water/broth, then kale into a pot. Bring to a boil, then simmer for about 8-12 minutes until the quinoa looks ilke transculent pearls with rings around them (like the planet Jupiter).

We served this with baked salmon. Salmon that was wild caught by my cousin in Alaska. It was absolutely delicious.

What a Weekend

2008-09-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

So yesterday...

1) I went to a Bosu Ball class at the Jewish Community Center in La Jolla. My company offers free day passes as one of their perks. Sweet! It was an interesting class and I will definitely be back again. I want to improve my balance damnit!

2) Went to Trader Joe's to buy my mom some raw nuts. Got beer cravings and ended up buying a 6 pack of beer (3 blueberry wheat beer and 3 pumpkin ale).

3) Walked to the post office to mail my mom's package and almost passed out because THERE WAS NO LINE and FOUR mail clerks that were available to help customers. When the hell does that ever happen? Obviously on Wednesday afternoons.

4) Took the bus to meet my husband at work, then saw a free screening of the movie "21" at my company's movie theater auditorium. I totally loved that movie and had the utmost desire to play blackjack, go drinking, and dance my ass off.

5) Hung out at home with my coworker friend Aaron and polished off the 6 pack of beer.

So TODAY since me and Bernie both saw 21, we decided to try and satisfy my blackjack cravings by catching the free Valley View Casino shuttle bus by our house. It was pretty sweet. I took a nap to and from there while Bernie read for school.

So we joined their free players' club and received free buffet passes which we of course used. It was pretty damn good. I loved all the desserts. I think I had like 6 or 7 plates of food. But they weren't packed.

I tried penny slots, which were pretty cool, although I had no idea how the lines went to win. Because some of them went up to 20 lines.

And I did try Blackjack! Yay! I won $35 bucks! It was totally exciting and maybe next week we'll try a different casino since there are other free shuttles by our house. God bless living in San Diego.

My Hardest Day So Far

2008-09-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today's been pretty hectic at work. I was working a lot of issues by myself and had to figure out things on my own. It got a little stressful, but not nearly as bad as teaching. But I'd still like a beer after work, especially since it's my Friday =)

And for the 2nd Tuesday in a row, me and Bernie went to Lake Miramar in the morning to run. I was impressed that he wanted to run 5 miles. So I went along for it and pushed it pretty hard but still felt good. I was able to finish in less than 50 minutes. Yay!

My Professional Goals

2008-09-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

I made this list after someone called to offer me a full line of teaching tech. Go back to teaching or stay in corporate? After making my list, I realized that my present job in corporate America either meets or has the potential to meet my goals in the future. So the decision was obvious.

In 5 years, this is where I see myself professionally...

1. With a company where I can grow and am valued and treated as a professional (this also means being paid well).

2. With a company that does not tolerate disrepect or harrassment.

3. In a position where I interact with respectful and responsible people.

4. In a position where I have a flexible schedule (bathroom breaks galore and working from home).

5. In a position that is challenging, but not overwhelmingly stressful.

6. In a position that allows me to achieve a healthy work/life balance.

7. In an environment where I can be myself.

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I just read over this list and realized that teaching, or at least my previous job, failed to meet any of these goals. I could comment on how it didn't for each point, but maybe I'll save that for another post. I'm too happy right now to think about it.

My Monday is the World's Friday

2008-09-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

I've been given a unique work schedule. My days off are Wednesday/Thursday but my hours are 10am - 6:30pm. So kinda "normal", kinda not. My husband was nice enough to change his schedule so we have Thursday off together. And we both work Saturday and Sunday so I don't feel sad at work.

The late start has been nice so far. Twice this past week, I biked to the gym and swam at least 250 meters. My goal is to be able to swim 250 meters under 12 minutes. Right now I'm around 14. And on Tuesday, me and Bernie went to Lake Miramar to run. I really like working out before work. I feel such a big sense of accomplishment and it's nice when I go to the gym and it's not crowded. I also like breathing in that fresh morning air when I run/bike outside.

Another thing I like about starting later is that I'm not all in a rush when I get up to start my day. Also, no traffic on the way to/from work. And 3 of my work days (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) are slow and easy. And the parts I like the most are that I have more time for myself and hanging out with my husband. Yay for my new jobby job!

My Un-First Day of School

2008-09-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today would’ve been my first school day of my 3rd year of teaching. Last night I had a nightmare that I actually went to school and was helping my coworker with lesson plans. Then I woke up and realized that it was just a dream. Man, what a relief.

"Last Day of Summer"

2008-09-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

In honor of Labor Day, me and one of my BFF’s decided to do a beach BBQ down at La Jolla Shores. Me and Bernie got there at 11am, which I know seems risky and late for a holiday, but we got decent parking and were able to secure a spot in the park, right in front of the playground, and also a spot on the sand (which we later gave up).

We had brought 2 types of chicken sausages from Trader Joes (nitrite/nitrate free!), quinoa bread (instead of hot dog buns), marinated vegetable skewers, fig/cheese salad with balsamic vinaigrette, and fruit salad.

I told Joy (my BFF) about these disposable grills and sent her on a mission to find some. She was able to buy 2 on sale and brought them to the beach along with KFC, kalbi, fruits, and cheesecake.

So yesterday was my first time grilling ever on a BBQ grill (although disposable, so does that count?), and it was really fun. At the end of the day (we left at 6pm), I told my husband that I wanted a BBQ grill now for our balcony. A little cute one.

We had fun eating, catching waves on our boogie boards, and just enjoying our last day of summer. On the way home I was a little sad thinking that this was me and Bernie’s full day off together until we go to Mexico next month. I just started a new work schedule where I am off Wednesday/Thursdays. But so far, I’ve been able to spend mornings with him eating breakfast so that has been really nice. And even this morning, we got up to go run (me 4 miles, him 3 miles).

What am I looking forward to in fall? Well for one, that Mexico trip next month, cooler weather so I can run outside longer and stronger, and a sweet Halloween party hosted by my company. Woohoo!

The Final Race

2008-08-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

We finally finished the Triple Crown Series. It consisted of the Carlsbad Half Marathon (January), La Jolla Half (April), and AFC Half (August 17th).

I should've written about it soon because I don't remember much anymore. Well I do remember feeling nervous because my friend Micah was going off on how he was going to whoop my ass since this was our last race and I had beaten him in the first two. And of course I wanted to beat him, but I didn't want that to be the deciding factor on how I ran.

So at the beginning of the race, we started off together. Bernie had already taken off. Me and Micah stayed together for the first two miles, then he took off, leaving me behind. But I was cool about it. Because I told myself that it was my race and no one else's. I caught up to him around mile 8, and I think that was when I passed him. I thought he had passed me again, but I guess he never did, because I did end up beating him. Oh, sweet victory.

The weather was ok, the sun did come out towards the end. The last part of the race was hard because of that crazy hill back to Balboa Park. But I pushed myself when I needed to and ran the whole thing. I finished in 2:19:54 with a pace of 10:41 per mile. I was so relieved when the whole thing was over and we got our medals.

One more thing to cross off my list!

So what's next? Maybe the California Dreamin' series or this mini-triathlon that the Temecula Rotary puts on every April. The best part is, the swimming part is in a pool!

Week 1 Review

2008-08-22T22:16:00.001-07:00

On a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being super stressed, I would say my stress level this week was a -10. On Tuesday from my way home from work, I almost started crying because I still can't believe I've been so lucky to find this job. I wonder if I'll be saying that 6 months from now =)

This company is so huge with so many buildings that they have 15 full time shuttles that bring you from building to building. How sweet is that?

Did I mention the free canned/bottled beverages that come out of vending machines? I've only gotten one so far, since I use my Klean Kanteen to refill from the water purifier. But still, the option is there.

Every Wednesday and Friday is free bagel day and I finally gave in to half a rye bagel today. But then they had this free box lunch thing today and of course I had to have that. It was yummy.

What's even cooler is that my old coworker Mark started the same day as me. That was planned. He was with me 2 jobs ago, when we had computer jobs at AT&T. Then he became a teacher. And inspired me to do the same a year later.

It's been great having him to talk to the past few years. I felt like he was the only person in the world who understood how frustrated I was about teaching. Because we both came from the IT industry, which was more money, less stress.

We had to take the shuttle to get our free box lunches. And on the way back, I said to Mark, "I think this has been one of the best weeks of my life."

Back to a (Happier) Grind

2008-08-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

After testing the waters in education, I've decided to take a break. I started a new temp job yesterday and I was walking to orientation, surrounded by big buildings, lush grass, and people walking in pairs with coffees in hand, I thought to myself, "God bless corporate America."

Words can't express how thankful I am to have this opportunity. I guess it helped that a lot of my former coworkers work there. I'm still in training, but it was just so nice to not see any kids and talk to adults. And everything was so clean!

My favorite part is the bathroom freedom. Gotta pee? Just get up and go. I took full advantage and peed 8x yesterday.

"This is so fun!"

2008-08-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

That's what I kept saying today at the beach.

We got up early again to check out AJ's Playhouse Live on channel 93.3 at the Wavehouse in Mission Beach. There were a lot of people there from last week too. It was really cool because we got to speak with the deejays after the show. And there were nice enough to take a picture with us. That's Bernie, me, Hula, Geena, AJ, and Sonic.

Then we hung out in Pacific Beach (PB). I decided today that PB is becoming one of my favorite neighborhoods. They have the beach, frozen yogurt, tamales, Trader Joe's, Henry's, and cheap clothing stores. What more can you ask for?

So that brings me to what we did. First we went to Tamales Ancira and we ordered 4 tamales: nuts and raisin, pineapple, sweet corn and cheddar, and bean and cheese with chipotle. They were all so incredibly good. I think my favorite though was the bean and cheese with chipotle.

We had packed more food and beach stuff so we headed over near Crystal Pier. At first we were just gonna eat and go on our merry way but I thought that today might be my last summer day with Bernie, because of our upcoming work schedules. So we stayed. For four hours. Again, the beach umbrella works wonders.

Halfway through, we walked back to the car to make sure our tires weren't marked from the meter maid. They weren't so we celebrated by buying frozen yogurt from YogurtLand. OMG. That is my new favorite yogurt place. Their taro flavor is to die for. And I love how pretty and pink it is inside. And I love how their toppings are all nice and diced and labeled and clean looking. Marry me YogurtLand.

I was able to take a good nap on the beach too. We also played in the water. I caught so many cool waves on my cheap ass boogieboard. Hence the repeating of "This is so fun!"

Later on tonight, he went to watch Mirrors, too scary for me. So I went to the gym and did my 4x400 speed workout. My last run before the AFC Half this Sunday. Running at the gym is cool sometimes because I sweat so much. I love it.

I told my husband that if I could define the perfect day, today came damn near close. I got to eat really good food, I got to go to the beach and play in the water, I got to spend time with my husband, and I got to work out.

Oh I love summer soooo much.

30, Flirty, and Thriving!

2008-08-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know, that was a line from Jennifer Garner's "13 Going on 30".

Ok so I figured I should write about my 30th bday since I got my last present yesterday. I think it started last year, but I decided that birthdays are so special that a day just isn't enough. How about a whole week?

So here we go...

1. July 18th, Friday - My friend Nicki had a mini-bachelorette party downtown San Diego. I think I drank my weight in alcohol. In the back of my mind, I was secretly celebrating my birthday. Not so sure if that was a great idea or not, because I sure as hell felt it the next day. But we had a really great time and thank goodness the bachelorette got as drunk as me! Nicki, bless her heart got us Taco Bell tacos on the way home (her kick-ass fiance was our chaufeur) and I happily (and drunkenly) ate 2 of them. Yes I know. Taco Bell tacos. But 2am and pissing drunk calls for things like that.

2. July 19th, Saturday - Stumbled home by 6am so I could drop my husband to work. More on why later.
Me and my best friend Joy had a facial/massage appointments at Lemongrass in Encinitas. My first facial and I have to say, they are way more relaxing than a full body massage. Then we had lunch at a Peruvian restaurant called Q'ero. I loved that place!!! I would totally eat there again.
Later that evening, I picked up Bernie and we met some friends at the Summer Pops Concert down at the Embarcadero. Mary Wilson from the Supremes performed live with the San Diego Symphony. We sat on the lawn and everyone brought such good food. And of course the music was awesome and so was the fireworks finale. I love summer outdoorsy things!

3. July 20th, Sunday - Me and my husband went to La Jolla Shores beach and kicked it all day. We finally invested in a beach umbrella, which rocks!

4. July 21st, Monday - Finally, my birthday! And my last day of school, yay! Went to lunch with my coworkers, then went to La Jolla Shores beach (yup, again).

5. July 23rd, Wednesday - Went to my favorite Japanese restaurant, Niban with some friends. Then we went to Yogurt Lounge after. Yay for good food!!!

I guess that was it for actually celebrating. So then yesterday, my friend Cynthia bought me a personal training session with her and her personal trainer. She had been gone all summer so this was the only time we could get together.

I am still sore. The training session was awesome because we did intervals outside in a park and my heart rate was so high, like I was sprinting. But I wasn't. I was waiving a kettlebell around and throwing a medicine ball. And getting my ass kicked. The training session was only 40 minutes and I burnt the same calories as if I ran 4 miles. Craziness.

I think that is one of the best presents anyone has ever given me. The gift of health! Woohoo!

Boy Bands, Cupcakes, and Drag Queens

2008-08-08T22:03:00.001-07:00

Today has been an interesting day.

1. We woke up hella early and went to the Wavehouse on Mission Beach to catch AJ's Playhouse Live! That is the morning show on Channel 93.3 that I used to listen to on my way to work. It was a lot of fun and we even won tickets to the Jesse McCartney/Jordin Sparks concert for tmr night but we're going to Universal Studios so we gave them back. Damn, I should've traded them with someone for a better prize. Oh well. There were boy bands there too, like Menudo and the Varsity Fan Club. So young! But they were cute.

Here's a pic. There I am!

2. We passed through Yogurtland in PB. The doors were open but they weren't ready for business but I was marveling at all the pretty colors and yummy flavors like taro, dutch chocolate, mocha, etc. AND they use paper cups, instead of styrofoam. AND it's only 30 cents an ounce. I will definitely be returning.

3. Grocery shopping at Trader Joe's in Pacific Beach. Always a good time. I love food shopping.

4. We went to check out a new cupcake joint called Cupcakes Squared. We tried lilikoi, mocha, vanilla chai, and red velvet. I thought they were all pretty tasty, but I liked the red velvet the most. And I thought these cupcakes were better than Sprinkles. Not as greasy, sweet, expensive, and a long ass wait in line.

5. Ate lunch at home, took a nap, then swam in the pool.

6. Went to Lips with a friend to help celebrate her bday. I got spanked on the ass by a drag queen. HARD. Ouch!

All in all, what a great Friday.

Here I Go Again!!! A Letter to Vons...

2008-08-06T18:37:00.001-07:00

You guys have gotten so much better in the past year with offering more organic products. I do have a few more suggestions.
1. Please start offering organic tomato juice that is made with no sweeteners. Your competitor Ralphs has an organic store brand with just water and tomato juice.
2. Please remove "evaporated cane juice" from your organic vegetable broth. Your competitors like Whole Foods and Trader Joe's have a store brand of vegetable broth that does not include any sweeteners.
3. I was in San Francisco (Safeway) recently and their brown paper bags have handles. My Vons in Mira Mesa doesn't even have brown paper bags! What's up with that?
4. Safeways in San Francisco have been offering bag credits to customers since 2006. Please start offering this! The world is going green and you should make every effort to be environmentally responsible.

Again, I applaud you for offering more healthy and organic products. You have been successful in enticing me to shop at Vons more often. Because I am a valued customer, I hope you will consider my suggestions and continue to offer more organic and eco-friendly products.

Thank you!

Grubbin' in San Francisco

2008-07-31T16:36:00.000-07:00

We're here on vacation.
Yesterday I had some vegan food from Que SeRaw Seraw in Burlingame for lunch. Then for dinner we ate peppercorn crab and garlic noodles at PPQ in SF.
Today, I ate a cheesecake with blueberry sauce crepe and some of my husband's mixed fruit with nutella crepe from Genki Market. I almost swooned because I've been going to this place for more than 5 years and the same Japanese guy who makes the best crispy crepes in the world made ours. I had to stop myself from confessing my undying love for his culinary goodness. Does he understand how fricken good he is? I'm tempted to email them.
To work off the extra calories, we rented a bike from Golden Gate Park Bike and Skate and pedaled from their store over the Golden Gate bridge, ate some dim sum we purchased earlier, and braved our way back going against the wind and foot traffic.
I think it took us about 3 hours round trip. I was thankful that it was an ok day, weatherwise.
I also found a new secret. I drink a lot of water and always have to pee. So it's always nerve wrecking in the city because it's hard to find a decent restroom without having to buy something. Grocery stores, my friend. Plus if you do need to buy food or snacks, it's cheaper than coffee shops. AND it's cool because at Safeway, if you bring your own bag (which I usually do), they give you a bag credit. That's it damnit. I'm calling the Vons Corporation to find out why they don't do that in San Diego.

Bees and Brownies

2008-07-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to see "The Bee Movie" as part of TWC's free outdoor Moonlight Movies. We got to use our new lawn/beach chairs and we love them! We had a great time too, our friend Chiyo and family came to meet us and brought lots of food. I made and brought Trader Joe's Gluten Free Brownies, which got the husband's approval =)

I also really enjoyed the movie. Not only was it fricken hilarious, but I also loved the movie's message about bees and commercialized honey production.

2006 Rosarito-Ensenada Bike Race

2008-06-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

This is my last chance to buy my race picture after I'm charged a $5 archival fee! Oh GAWD!

So I thought I'd post it because I'm not one to buy race pictures. We did this race in September 2006 with our friend Micah. It was my first bike race and since I'm used to running races, it was a bit overwhelming having to take care of myself AND a bike. It took us I think 6.5 hours to ride 50 miles, with a few stops in between.

Would I do it again? Sure.

Our newest onesie

2008-06-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

Me and my funny ass husband like to come up with personalized onesies for our friends who have babies and/or baby showers.

Here's one that we made for my friend who is a Yogurt World fanatic and pseudo computer geek (like me!).

My 100th Post!

2008-06-20T09:31:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I did it, but I actually woke up early enough to run 4 miles before school.

It sucked, I was slow and it was hot, even at 6 in the morning, but I finished and made it to work on time. I'm training for the AFC Half!

Now I'm tired and am going to try and nap before my first class starts.